chaletian: (sherlock 221b)
chaletian ([personal profile] chaletian) wrote2010-07-28 08:28 pm
Entry tags:

[Sherlock] London Calling :: PG :: Gen ::1/1

Title: London Calling
Author: [livejournal.com profile] chaletian
Fandom(s): Sherlock
Rating: PG
Summary: Sherlock uses him as his own personal texting machine; John goes along with it when it's summoning serial killers, and even when it's sending pithy little comments to Lestrade's phone ("He keeps trying to block my number," Sherlock complains, almost surprised), but balks when Sherlock can't be arsed to text in a takeaway order himself.





John hasn't bothered with a mobile phone in years, so it feels odd, initially: the weight of Harry's cast-off in his pocket. Sleek and futuristic, it's light years away from the clunky plastic Nokia he had before Afghanistan, and every time he takes it out and slides up the screen, it feels like he's in a pretentiously low-key phone advert.

To begin with, it doesn't see a lot of action. Texts and missed calls from Harry, of course - Harry, who seems desperate to keep in touch, even though John can't cope with her at the moment (struggling to cope with himself); Ella, confirming his appointments (or, God knows, making sure he hasn't topped himself); occasional Army administrators setting up his pension or sorting out his medical treatment. He even gets the occasional call from friends, though each conversation feels disconnected from reality, like John's just playing a part, and he rings off as soon as possible.

And then John Watson meets Sherlock Holmes, and his phone is being used to summon serial killers. Which is strange.

Next, of course, he moves in, and ends up in what seems like an incredibly bad sitcom (He's a high-functioning sociopath! He's a wounded ex-Army doctor! Together they fight crime!), and his phone is filled with endless messages from Sherlock. How long would a 180lb man take to bleed to death at 28 degrees with 79% humidity? is a fairly typical request. Why is everyone so stupid? can be expected every time he works on a case; also Come to flat immediately!, usually followed by Now! and, if Sherlock is particularly excited, If you don't get here in ten minutes, hundreds of people could die!. More often, it's Buy bread and Buy nicer bread and Where did Mrs H put my laundry? I have no socks.

But at least that's normal, for a phone. Messages for him. The thing is, John's phone is apparently no longer just his. Sherlock uses him as his own personal texting machine; John goes along with it when it's summoning serial killers, and even when it's sending pithy little comments to Lestrade's phone ("He keeps trying to block my number," Sherlock complains, almost surprised), but balks when Sherlock can't be arsed to text in a takeaway order himself.

Also, this sort of thing happens with increasing frequency:

It's bright and chilly and John's walking down Charing Cross Road, looking in book shop windows. His phone beeps. It's Lestrade - Have u seen him? No, John thinks, he hasn't, which is as well, because Sherlock was sawing away on his bloody violin at two o'clock that morning, and if John sees his flatmate, he might punch him in the face. Sorry, not today, he texts back.

And this:

He's sitting in St Paul's, head tilted back, staring at the architectural enormity of the place, wondering if he ever believed in a god, when his phone rings. It's Mrs Hudson, alarmed and voluble, and he stands up and shoulders his way past the tourists, making for the exit and trying to understand what she's banging on about and why Sherlock would have tried to dangle out of their living room window.

Also:

He's in the V&A bar with Clara, oppressed by William Morris tiles, tears (her), sympathy (him) and she's got a problem (both of them). The phone rings. "Come and get your psychopath out of here!" someone shouts. "I'm warning you, Watson, if you d-- OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP THAT!" John grins, suddenly, involuntarily. "Anderson?" He shrugs helplessly at Clara, fishes out a tenner, kisses her on the cheek, and leaves (gratefully). "Anderson, is that you? What's he doing?"

And very occasionally:

The weather's warmer, and he cuts through Regent's Park from the flat to Camden where a recently discharged colleague has moved in with her boyfriend. He sighs as his phone beeps, and checks the message. How stands the wax on Icarus' wings? It's at this point that John does contemplate throwing the arsing thing in the duck pond and/or suggesting that Sherlock's brother get a therapist himself. He's fine, he texts back. We had cocopops for breakfast. Your code is ridiculous.

oOo

More than once (a lot more than once) John takes Harry's old phone out of his pocket, taps it thoughtfully in his palm, and considers tossing it in the bin. He never does. Ho goes home, where Sherlock can inevitably be found haranguing Mrs Hudson, or engaging in a scientific experiment with last week's milk, or lying on the sofa, hands pressed together, a supplicant at the altar of logic, and says, "Why can't people just phone you?" And Sherlock will come out with some unfeasibly brilliant insight, or (alternatively) say that he dropped his phone in a sewer whilst following a suspect, or (once), "Rationally, alien intelligence must exist," at which point "Why can't people just phone you?" becomes a pretty redundant question, and John sighs, and feels a bit exasperated and (depending on how exasperated) a bit affectionate, and plugs in the phone charger.

THE END

[identity profile] lauypauy.livejournal.com 2010-07-29 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
omg, loved this - so funny and fits well with the characters. hope you do more :)

[identity profile] zephre.livejournal.com 2010-07-29 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
this was a lot of fun. :)

[identity profile] donna-k.livejournal.com 2010-07-29 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
This is FABULOUS! Love it!

[identity profile] cakeordeath44.livejournal.com 2010-07-30 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Lovely. I really like the 'nicer bread' and all those other little snippets of life. Brilliant.

[identity profile] emsmiths.livejournal.com 2010-07-30 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Brilliant - Coco pops - LOL

[identity profile] lizvogel.livejournal.com 2010-07-31 01:47 am (UTC)(link)
Here via [livejournal.com profile] infiniteviking's rec. Loved this! I haven't even seen the new Sherlock yet, but now I totally want to.

"Buy nicer bread" -- "I have no socks"-- LOL!

[identity profile] teddy-tips.livejournal.com 2010-08-01 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Love this story! I think you captured Watson's peculiar blend of frustration/enjoyment perfectly, and I love how you've given us glimpses of things both fantastic and depressing through his eyes. I think you have captured him PERFECTLY!

Also, seriously in love with the structure of this piece. Basically, I love this.

[identity profile] deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com 2010-08-02 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is brilliant - funny and clever and a joy to read :)

[identity profile] debris_k.livejournal.com 2010-08-03 12:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I think only one thing can feedback this properly, and it's: !

[identity profile] emmarrrrr.livejournal.com 2010-08-06 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Your code is ridiculous.

I actually cannot stop laughing at this. Also, Where did Mrs H put my laundry? I have no socks is fairly hilarious too.
ext_3277: I made this (Holmes BBC)

[identity profile] laura-trekkie.livejournal.com 2010-08-09 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
This made me smile for all the inane and down right weird texts and calls John has to survive each day :).

Laura.

[identity profile] evie.livejournal.com 2010-08-10 08:26 am (UTC)(link)
I have a horrific secret - I love the great genfic in all variants of Holmes fandom the best. This is absolutely spot on with characterisation and dialogue, the works. LOVELY.

[identity profile] entropical87.livejournal.com 2010-08-11 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is fantastic. I love Mycroft's text especially, and "a supplicant at the altar of logic" is a beautiful line.

He's a high-functioning sociopath! He's a wounded ex-Army doctor! Together they fight crime!

In a just world, we would get to watch that show every week. ♥

[identity profile] ann-oyin-g.livejournal.com 2010-08-11 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Loved every bit of this! Many parts of this were just hysterical. I love how normal all this is becoming to Watson and how he's becoming just a little bit fond of the crazy man. Thank you for sharing.

[identity profile] lelann137.livejournal.com 2010-08-12 11:31 am (UTC)(link)
oh fantastic writing! love it. thanks!
renrenren3: (Default)

[personal profile] renrenren3 2010-08-14 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
"We had cocopops for breakfast. Your code is ridiculous."

Loved this. The fandom could use more genfic, and you captured their voices perfectly. Whatever's happening, I feel for poor Anderson.

[identity profile] tardis-stowaway.livejournal.com 2010-08-22 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! This is utterly adorable and very believable. I particularly cracked up at Mycroft's code and John's response. Also "Buy bread and Buy nicer bread and Where did Mrs H put my laundry? I have no socks." The fact that John spells out words properly when he texts endears him to me even further.

[identity profile] laleia.livejournal.com 2010-09-03 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha, this made me laugh almost as much as the first episode did. :)

[identity profile] thette.livejournal.com 2010-09-25 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
:-D This made me happy. Very subtle, very them.
ext_60115: (Q: Squeee)

[identity profile] silens-unus.livejournal.com 2011-02-18 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
This was fantastic. It felt like the show in the quirky text messages and the affectionate, baffled way John reacts to Sherlock. Thank you so much for this gem of a fix.
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (fandom: sherlock people might talk)

[identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just wonderful, and so very them! <3

[identity profile] phithuy.livejournal.com 2011-08-27 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Such a simple way of express and yet so true to how ease, up-side down on John's part xD and trust between them. Love when remembered John's face when he was summoned to text, hilarious xD!

Also, can I have your permission to translate this wonderful piece to Vietnamese :">? I will be posted on my blog and vnfiction.com, my favorite Viet fanfic community. Love to hear back from you. In the mean time, I finished my translation already xD!

Love,
Phithuy (a.k.a Muraki)

[identity profile] chaletian.livejournal.com 2011-08-27 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, of course! Glad you enjoyed it!

(no subject)

[identity profile] phithuy.livejournal.com - 2011-08-29 16:31 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] redrikki.livejournal.com 2011-10-03 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Someone just recommended this and I'm glad they did. Completely adorable.

[identity profile] quirkies.livejournal.com 2011-10-03 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
This is gleefully in character (can you say "character" when you mean whole Show?)
Lovely!

[identity profile] daluci.livejournal.com 2011-10-03 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
This is really witty, and very fun. Thanks for sharing! ♥

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