Diary of a Suburban Squeen

So, yes. Life not actually as dismal as previous post would indicate. In fact, pretty fucking awesome (though my laptop keyboard is still pissing me off - does anyone know any tricks for decreasing the sensitivity of a touchpad?).

- Fingers now mostly healed.

- Bed delivered and incredibly amazingly delicious.

- I have a plan for decorating the now huge and empty back wall of my bedroom. It involves Etsy and is going to be beautiful and functional.

- Had festive drinks at Jess's last night - very civilised indeed.

- Kathryn's birthday tea last weekend - also very civilised.

- Have ordered most Christmas presents, and they have started arriving. This is vee gee.

- Am not, in fact, hovering on the brink of destitution. In fact 2011 should be fairly decent. Poor arithmatic was always a failing...

- Katie and I are going to Hamlet, the Globe's Winter Wassail, and a carol service at Westminster Abbey. Thumbs up.

- I saw the GP about my strangulated whatsit on my neck yesterday. He booked for me to come in and have it lopped off with a white-hot knife. This morning, it seems to have fallen off of its own volition. Ha!

- So, I had an awesome weekend towards the end of November. On the Friday, went to see HP7.1 at the O2. It was so much better than I was expecting! I really enjoyed it, and absolutely fell in love with Hermione all over again. Then the next day, morganmuffle drove me, katie__pillar, klo_the_hobbit and seiyaharris to Stratford to see the RSC's new production of Matilda. OH MY GOD IT WAS SO AMAZING!! I was, tbh, a tiny bit leery, because the combination of Matilda, Tim Minchin and RSC had so, so much to live up to that I was afraid it couldn't possibly, but it truly exceeded my wildest expectations. The children were brilliant, and the musical itself was just magical. I will be going to see it again if it transfers to the West End, and would advise everyone else to do the same. UNLESS YOU HATE AWESOMENESS. Anyway, after that we went for tea at Chloe's parents and watched Strictly, and then came home. It was actually the most amazing 24 hours - just so lovely to do brilliant stuff with chums.

- This weekend will hopefully also be bon. Am still, admittedly, in bed, but I've been awake since about 8, which surely counts for something? Right? Anyway, cet après-midi, am off to Staines to congratulate Darren on the anniversary of his birth, then tomorrow Katie and I are off to Kingston for Christmas business, the day to be concluded by putting up the Christmas tree, watching Muppet Christmas Carol (OMG YAY), and consuming pizza and ribena cava. Good times, say you? Best times, say I.

Oh, it looks nice outside! Not in a snowy way (no snow :( ) but just in a bright wintery day way. Pale blue sky striated with long, thin clouds, and stiff, bare branches. LOL we're on the second floor, so that's all I can see from the living room window. Anyhow, I'VE BROKEN UP FOR CHRISTMAS!! WOO!!! Extremely excited: I have two weeks off - I haven't had a break that long all year, and I think I need it, even though work is really awesome at the moment. And when I say awesome, I mean OMG TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME LIEK WOAH! So that's nice.

Anyway, I've just had a shower, made a present for Katie's parents, finished presents for Kathye and Helen, and I just need to tidy up a bit (maybe), get dressed and head out to Kathye's for Christmas party joy. This evening, Katie and I are planning to go and see St Trinian's 2 at the kino, which I am looking forward to, because I loved the first one. Here's hoping the sequel delivers.

I suppose I should get on with the whole dressing thing. Ciao ciao, darlings.

So, I've been a bit quiet recently, and will continue to be so: new job means no internet (or time) during the day, and I'm too tired/have too much stuff to do in the evenings. Or something. Anyway, meme! (Saving me from having to actually structure my thoughts or my head in any way.)

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-word answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First name: Laura/Liss/Squeen/Miss Laura/whatever.

2. Age: 29 (fuck me, when did that happen?)

3. Location: London. Woo. I love London liek woah. I've lived here for just over nine years. More specifically, I live sort of on the Barnes/East Sheen border (like such a thing exists...)

4. Occupation: I work in healthcare, and mostly faff on computers in a nonchalant auditing kind of way.

5. Partner: Meh. I am a lone wolf. A LONE WOLF, people. Also a functional mute*.

6. Kids: None. I sort of like the idea in the abstract, but I don't know how I'd feel about the reality.

7. Brothers/sisters: I have a younger brother. His name's Chris, he's 27, he recently got engaged to his girlfriend, which is quite exciting, because Bex is ace.

8. Pets: None. I'm not big on animals, although I have perhaps foolishly promised Katie she may have one real cat when we're old.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

1. Work. I recently left my job in a private hospital to return to the NHS, which I'm quite excited about. It's quite a bizarre mix of uber-concentration at new things and boredom at not really having a proper thing to do myself. Also, I have no desk yet so my wheely chair is my kingdom. I have good feelings about this job, but I seem to be getting up very early to get there and I'm really tired! Early nights for me.

2. CHRISTMAS!!! I love Christmas so, so much. I love the lights and the music and the smells and the presents and being allowed to watch A Muppet Christmas Carol (this weekend! this weekend when we put up the tree!) and going home to see my family and parties and clementines with leaves and just the whole exciting awesomeness of it all.

3. Pop culture. I love pop culture. TV and films and (these days) comic books and all that. Currently obsessing totally over Merlin, which is so adorable. I am a full on Gwen/Arthur fan, because they are ♥. But I'm watching loads of stuff: Supernatural (one has to get through it, after all), One Tree Hill (Naley!!!), White Collar, The Mentalist, Castle (OH NATHAN FILLION YOUR STUPID FACE), The Big Bang Theory (Katie and I sing the theme tune; it's highly amusing. Also: Sheldon!! ♥ ♥ ♥), HIMYM (when Katie watches it when I'm there - NPH, how are you so awesome?), NCIS (although Ziva seems to have gone quite bland these days), NCIS LA for the lolz, and probably random other crap too. Oh, TV... ♥

4. Katie, Katie, Katie, my tiny darling. Katie (as I can't imagine people haven't guessed) is my flatmate and WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH PURELY TO STOP ME KILLING MYSELF FROM MY OWN STUPIDITY. That is all. And she totally gives me all the attention I need (A LOT), which makes me happy. And she is full of win and comic genius and is a SKY FAIRY!!!!!!

5. My hair. Of course. I think the roots need dying again and my fringe needs a trim, but my hair's generally so amazingly good at the moment I'm scared to do it myself. Hmm. Quandary.

10. Parents. My parents are brilliant and very funny, and also incredibly annoying and spesh. My mother went to Abbeydale Girls' Grammar, and my father went to Abbeydale Boys' Grammar, and they met in the sixth form, started going out, went to university together and got married. My father likes going out walking. My mother has this thing for ironing. When Katie's parents have dinner with us, it's very chilled and laid back and nice. When my parents have dinner with us, there's lots of talking loudly and being ridiculous and taking the piss out of everyone and everyone being drama queens (mostly my father).

11. Who are some of your closest friends? Well, if we take a list and organise it from 1 to 10, where 1 is my best friend and 10 is someone I secretly hate... Quelle ridiculous question. weird_bird is my BFF. katie__pillar is the tiny flickering light in the otherwise tragic gloom of my soulless existence. I have lots of other chums too, all of whom are ace, otherwise I would not be friends with them, as I am a bitch, and do not really make any effort to be friends with people who aren't ace.


* That is a hilarious NCIS joke.

Happy New Year to you all, my darlings! Hope 2009 brings sweetness and light and prawn toast to everyone! Unless you’re allergic to shellfish. I’m not a monster.

Anyhow, Christmas and New Year, eh? Well, that was fun. Thank you very much to everyone for my presents – they are all ace. Also, had a party just before Christmas which was also ace, so thanks to everyone who came to that and ATE ALL OUR FOOD! ALL OF IT! though it was as well, what with our biffing off to Sheffield the following day. Had some parental Christmas time. Went out to dinner on Christmas Eve with parents and Chris and Bex, which was vee nice. They had fake snow outside the restaurant (nicer than it sounds), about which my mother became unnecessarily excited. Had a slightly random Christmas day, what with Grandad still being in hospital and all, but it weren’t too bad, all things considered. Drew a C21st Justice & 6-Eyed Girl cartoon for my parents, featuring ‘Stone Woman’, ‘Kryptonian Dad’ and ‘Captain Puniverse’ (my brother’s longstanding alter ego). Mother also extremely excited about that. Also the Bagpuss mouse that sang. I rock.

So, enough of Christmas. New Year. Well, meh. I rather bar New Year, but whatever, it’s time off work. Katie and I pottered and then klo_the_hobbit came over and we watched some beautifully awful stuff. Ah, Freejack: film choice of the gods.

In other news, have used the bread machine quite a lot. I made more soup (a giant surprise there, surely). Also, ooh, excitingly, made CHOCOLATE-COATED PRETZELS!!!! Can there be anything finer? I think not! And I made some tomato and mascarpone sauce for our tea last night, but that’s rather less newsworthy.

Latest TV news: Big Fat Quiz of the Year was joyous as ever (though has yet to reach the dizzy heights of the Goth Detectives year). Jimmy Carr was looking bizarrely skinny. Made (not that it exactly took a lot of effort) Katie watch Leverage. How inconceivably gorgeous is that show? It’s so ridiculous and yet so adorable. I love team shows – it’s what makes NCIS such a thing of glory. <3 <3 <3

Cookery Book: Bread and Bread Machines
Provenance: Random purchase at the NT shop at Ham House
Picture Level: Pretty darned good, actually. Pictures for everything.

Recipe: Pesto marbled bread
Ingredients: Pesto, flour, milk, salt, sugar, yeast, water
Why Chosen: Well, we’ve got this jar of pesto in the fridge and I was making Italian…
Outcome: Not so bad, not so bad. Or, um, quite nice actually. Will probably make occasionally.
Mess Created: Minimal – ha! (Or I may have made a giant mess and not really noticed. It’s, uh, hard to remember sometimes.)

Just a quick festive post to say Merry Christmas! to everyone, and to share two Christmassy things, because I do so love it, even though as a religious thing it has no meaning for me.

( So, firstly, a bit from Lanterns Across the Snow by Susan Hill, which is my favourite Christmas book... )


And secondly, I know that my fondness for Tim Minchin and his works is well-known, but he has written my perfect Christmas song. I love it when someone so perfectly articulates how you feel about something, mainly because you never again have to struggle to express yourself on the subject.

So, Christmas, eh? Firstly, though today was being slightly dreaded by, I think, everyone, it went off very well indeed and everyone seemed to have a nice time. Grandad looked slightly snurpy when Daddy had a mock against diesel engines to Andrew (Grandad has long been a proponent of the diesel engine; Daddy thinks they're shit), but that was as bad as it got. I changed the subject whenever the ground looked boggy (I get to do that because I'm Daddy's favourite and at the moment I can do no wrong as far as Grandad is concerned). Grandad's still slightly dodgy on his feet, and has put on so much weight in the past couple of months (I think because of the drugs he's on) that he looks completely different to usual. But actually it was lovely to see everyone, and share presents (and to give and receive presents that people like - we tend to be quite good about that in our family), and just be together, and be huggy and chatty and catch up and mock Andrew's driving and Matthew's girlfriend and Chris's city slicker ways and my hair. And *g* I showed Grandma the end of my Christmas speech, where she and Grandad had earned internet fame by virtue of their donation of the grandparental chintz, which tickled her. It was a really, really nice day. Mummy braided my hair, so I felt about twenty years in the past! Chris bought us Yahtzee! And the new Nigella Lawson book. And I got the most genius looking book about Dorothy L Sayers and LPW and the inter-war period, which looks absolutely fascinating, and some Chanel mascara, and a chocolate orange (natch!), and some theatre vouchers (now the question is, cherie, do we blow it all on one show, or eke them out?), and some slipper socks (will my mother's attempt to get me in slippers never cease?!) from my parents, and various bits from the rest of the family, which was all very nice (and an ace CD from Rosie, which I am listening to at the moment). Mummy did an interpretive dance to the flashing rhythm of the fairy lights: a sight to be seen. Grandma got a huge kick out of the little pop-up mouse I got her and chuckled quite considerably. I wore make-up and high heels. We had Christmas lunch instead of dinner, which was super (though obviously, with the mater cooking), and then unexpectedly got salmon sandwiches and ham and beetroot sandwiches and mince pies at tea time. The proper grown-ups may have looked a little askance at these, but the younger generation devoured them whole-heartedly. We watched Galaxy Quest in the afternoon which is always a joy, and then after everyone had gone we watched Little Miss Sunshine, which I bought for Daddy, and which the parentals loved. Me too. I think it's one of the best films to be made in the last few years. I spoke to Katie and Kathye, as is only right and proper.

Anyway, I hope everyone had as nice a day as I did, and the rest of the festive period is nice and jolly and relaxed. Ciao, mes amis! xxx

♥ I am comprehensively losing almost every game of scrabble I am playing. It is a sorry story. I suck.

♥ Ah, the Christmas stylings of Liss & Katie… last night we opened a week’s worth of advent calendar. We have two advent calendars, a HSM one we bought in Woolworths, and the one Katie’s parents sent her. We cunningly alternate opening between the two. Last night, we remained very calm and stuck to this plan, passing them back and forth over a thrilling five minutes. I suspect you had to be there to appreciate the beauty of the moment. We managed to get some tinsel finally, and I draped it round the tree (after, of course, waltzing around treating it as a particularly gaudy boa, as is only right and proper). And, the crowning glory of Christmas, as far as I am concerned, is that I was finally permitted to watch A Muppet Christmas Carol.

♥ Anyway, we pretty much finished off our Christmas shopping over the weekend. Saturday we did Barnes and East Sheen, and yesterday we went into Richmond (eventually – the buses were buggered par excellence) and pottered around dans la pluie. Actually, there wasn’t much pluie yesterday, not compared to Saturday, when we practically drowned.

♥ Last night was pretty good on the food front. Sausages and mashed potato, but the m.p. done with leeks, which was delish. Forgot the peas, I was so involved in the leek part of the process, but c’est la vie. Ap crum for pud. It was of a good vintage.

♥ New girl Loraine and I are the only ones in the office today. Hmm. Sucks to be me.


There's loads more I meant to post about, but it has all fallen from my head.

Oh, wait. Season 3 of BSG - r_scribbles, you were so right! Oh, Apollo, what have they done to you?

I AM CLEAN.

I HAVE BEEN OFFERED A NEW JOB (WITH PAY RISE).

GRANDMA IS BEING RELEASED FROM THE PRISON OF THE HALLAMSHIRE HOSPITAL.

I HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS CARD IN THE WORLD. EVER.

AND PRESENTS! LOTS OF PRESENTS! VERY FINE PRESENTS, FROM VERY FINE FRIENDS.

So much thanks to katie__pillar (I can make badges from now till judgement day!!), xanantha (and things to stick on people!), pim2005 (Stoppard - genius!), _mardybum_ (so brilliant - you mun come and stay and I will cook you something from it... no excuses... ), vikkik, and kittykatkins! You are all fabbity!

What I did today: not very much. Certainly not any work. Basically, I spent the day emailing the usual suspects (who don’t seem to have received many of my emails, so I feel a bit like an invisible friend), and spending an ABSOLUTE FORTUNE on Amazon. Fortunately, this means I have made giant strides on the Christmas present front, so I am feeling broke but virtuous. I have spreadsheet for presents and it’s almost starting to look promising. I found a David Lynch film that my father hasn’t got yet, so will be the Best Daughter Ever come Christmas day. Also found a Fannie Flagg Southern Cookbook for my mother, and trust me when I say this will most definitely cement Best Daughter status. With bells on.

Yesterday (just to bop around the space/time continuum a little), we went to Darren’s birthday celebrations, which were very nice (though I borrowed a couple of books, and people kept STEALING them from me, which I think was jolly mean), and I played on the Nintendo (?) bongo drums lots and beat practically all comers – get me. I am a bongo genius!! And it’s not often one gets to write that… Katie and I got quite obsessive in the end (gosh, what a surprise, I hear you say, because we don’t have addictive personalities or anything), and were bongoing away with gusto. At least Richard had more or less given up his back-seat bongoing by then… *g*

Mon petit frere is in Chicago for the next two weeks. Did I mention my envy? Why can’t the NHS send its new employees off for a fortnight’s training in a foreign land? Other than, obviously, the perennial lack of cash.

C. Ah, C. One of the doctors she works for does an undergraduate symposium thing every four months or so, when students have to go round a group of patients and diagnose them. They have three minutes per patient. (Yes, it’s speed medicine!! Must diagnose! Must diagnose!) C rings the 3-minute bell. And, I swear, to hear her talk, you’d think the bell-ringing thing was the most complicated, crucial part of the whole proceeding. I’ve lost count of how many randomly passing doctors she’s informed of her mad bell-ringing skillz. The woman is barking.

Just received an email from FOCS. They have, not surprisingly, decided to pass on my uber-brilliant CS/BtVS crossover drabble. I cannot find it in myself to blame them. I was, however, encouraged to submit something else due to my general brilliance. Yay. So, I should probably WRITE THAT BLOODY GRIZEL ARTICLE! I am such a procrastinator.

Ooh, and some ideas, svp. My paternal grandparents are always a bit tricksy to buy for come yuletide, as they don’t really seem to *do* anything. So I thought, this year, it might be a plan to construct a sort of Christmas hamper type thing (viz, bopping round Waitrose and buying anything that looked nice that they wouldn’t buy normally) and putting it all in a pretty box. I like this plan. However, do any of you have any good ideas about what sort of thing to include in such a beastie?

Huzzah for Christmas, for tis merry and bright indeed. Twas a little weird not to have the rest of the family here, but frankly we had a fine day: it was like a particularly nice Sunday. Ma mere woke us up in a hideously cheerful way at the crack of dawn (OK, more like 8AM, but still...) and we opened our presents (we decorated everything yesterday), M as usual stockpiling hers and watching the rest of us open ours! I was the fortunate recipient of the whole of Blackadder on DVD (huzzah! Huzzah! for now I have ALL of my three favourite TV series on DVD: Buffy, Babylon 5 and Blackadder), the latest Delia How to Cook book, a pretty necklace which I suspect is amber and gold, a chocolate orange (family tradition; as it is also tradition to look at the wrapped-up box in bewilderment and exclaim that one *cannot* imagine what it might be *g*), a diary, picture frame and book from Chris & Bex (which is Christmas and birthday combined), a mug (the wonder of the P.G. Wodehouse Penguin mug, which katie__pillar got me, to replace the one that was evilly stolen), some pretty stationery, a fine Guide story and chocolate coins, a groovy wee mirror, and a few other bits and bobs. All hail the Christmas haul!

My present-buying was a little lacklustre this year, but the family seemed to like them; hopefully the remaining members will also do so.

Ooh, and we had much film-watching, starting with The Railway Children (classic fare, guaranteed to reduce us to tears at the end... "Daddy, my Daddy!"), negotiating carefully round the Queen's Speech (which seemed a little random this year) into The Incredibles (present from me to my parents), and, following a particularly fine dinner, Amelie (present from Chris to my mother). Then we washed up. Alas, for it is the fine meals that involve the best crocks and the silver cutlery (that I somehow managed to miss having to dip, as I usually do before such meals) which sadly cannot be put into the dishwasher.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a nice day. Thanks to my posse as wot gave me presents: je vous aime toutes.