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[SPN] Shutdown, 1/1
Title: Shutdown
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chaletian
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters: OMCs, mentions of Dean, Sam and John
Spoilers: Oustandingly vague for IMTOD and AHBL#2
Summary: The hell hounds don’t like being messed around. Slightly cracky. Loosely linked to The Waiting Room and a sequel to The Dogs of War. Response to the Supernatural-West Wing Title Challenge. This is entirelykatie__pillar’s fault for suggesting that they go on strike.
“Come on, chaps, really! This isn’t on, you know. I mean, I understand how you feel…”
“Screw that, Brian!”
“Yeah, you don’t have clue!”
“Up there in his fancy office, hell fire on demand.”
“Now, now, men! Hounds. I know that these are trying times, I know you’re frustrated…”
“Damn straight we’re frustrated!”
“But going on strike isn’t going to solve anything. We all need to calm down, and discuss this.”
“Discuss what, nimrod? How you guys in legal and admin keep letting these guys off the hook? How’re we supposed to do our jobs prop’ly if all the debtors keep getting scratched from our sheets?”
“It’s hardly ‘all’ of them, as you know perfectly well. I admit, we’re having problems in one particular area but we’re doing our best to resolve it.”
“There’s been three of ‘em, Brian. Three. Do you know how many got scratched before them damned Winchesters? Not a single. Solitary. One. And now? Dean Winchester’s been on and off our sheets so much Dolores had to order more white-out. Sam Winchester got processed once, and OK, that wasn’t so much our call, but we still had an interest, under the circumstances, cuz we was promised things with him, and then someone makes a deal and we lose him…”
“It was a good deal, chaps. An excellent deal. Toby did very well with that.”
“Good deal, my ass! Winchester wormed his way out of that one but good! This is what we’re talking about, Brian. Heck, we couldn’t even keep a hold on ole John Winchester, and we had him down here for best part of a year. Have you guys got your heads up your asses or what?”
“Look, it’s very difficult for us all at the moment, but I think we need to take a step back, and look at what we’ve achieved in the last couple of years.”
“What we’ve achieved?”
“What the hell have we achieved?”
“Soul repossessions are up 4% in the last two quarters. We’ve got a record number of demons out in the world. The last five hearings for Final Destination have swung our way. This is a good time for us.”
“If it’s such a good time, why’re we a laughing stock, Brian? Huh? Tell us that!”
“Can’t go near that damned Waiting Room without someone singin’ Hellhound On My Trail. It’s gettin’ embarrassin’, is what it is.”
“Dude, we just want to do our job, but we can’t do it like this.”
“I really do understand your concerns, and believe me, we’re doing everything we can to straighten this little… difficulty out. But we need your support. We need you to be out there, in the front line, gathering our condemned souls. It’s what you’re good at, men. It’s what you’re made to do. You are bringers of Death! You are harbingers of Doom!”
“Huh.”
“Sounds pretty neat.”
“Look, chaps, it’s tough, God knows we all know that. The bastard. Anyway, you’re the public face of Hell. You’re the ones mixing with the people. We need you.”
“Well, now, if you put it like that…”
“Just, man, you need to do something about those damned Winchesters.”
“We will. I promise we will. We’ve got people working on it day and night, and we will get them in here. Look, can I go back and tell the Chief Exec we’ve sorted this out? You’ll be back at work?”
“Sure.”
“That’s great. Really. Wonderful. All right. I’ll see you both later.”
“See ya, Brian.”
“Working day and night?”
“C’mon, Mort, they’ll get those guys.”
“Well, now, I wouldn’t bet the hell fire.”
“Yeah. I’m not gonna take that action.”
“I’m right proud of you, Jed.”
“Bob got back from the fifth circle. Dude’s a legend.”
“Damn right. Well, let’s go get our sheet. Condemned souls ain’t just goin’ to hang around waitin’ for us.”
“Yeah, man. We’re bringers of death and harbingers of doom. We rock.”
“Amen to that.”
Author:
chaletianFandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters: OMCs, mentions of Dean, Sam and John
Spoilers: Oustandingly vague for IMTOD and AHBL#2
Summary: The hell hounds don’t like being messed around. Slightly cracky. Loosely linked to The Waiting Room and a sequel to The Dogs of War. Response to the Supernatural-West Wing Title Challenge. This is entirely
katie__pillar’s fault for suggesting that they go on strike.“Come on, chaps, really! This isn’t on, you know. I mean, I understand how you feel…”
“Screw that, Brian!”
“Yeah, you don’t have clue!”
“Up there in his fancy office, hell fire on demand.”
“Now, now, men! Hounds. I know that these are trying times, I know you’re frustrated…”
“Damn straight we’re frustrated!”
“But going on strike isn’t going to solve anything. We all need to calm down, and discuss this.”
“Discuss what, nimrod? How you guys in legal and admin keep letting these guys off the hook? How’re we supposed to do our jobs prop’ly if all the debtors keep getting scratched from our sheets?”
“It’s hardly ‘all’ of them, as you know perfectly well. I admit, we’re having problems in one particular area but we’re doing our best to resolve it.”
“There’s been three of ‘em, Brian. Three. Do you know how many got scratched before them damned Winchesters? Not a single. Solitary. One. And now? Dean Winchester’s been on and off our sheets so much Dolores had to order more white-out. Sam Winchester got processed once, and OK, that wasn’t so much our call, but we still had an interest, under the circumstances, cuz we was promised things with him, and then someone makes a deal and we lose him…”
“It was a good deal, chaps. An excellent deal. Toby did very well with that.”
“Good deal, my ass! Winchester wormed his way out of that one but good! This is what we’re talking about, Brian. Heck, we couldn’t even keep a hold on ole John Winchester, and we had him down here for best part of a year. Have you guys got your heads up your asses or what?”
“Look, it’s very difficult for us all at the moment, but I think we need to take a step back, and look at what we’ve achieved in the last couple of years.”
“What we’ve achieved?”
“What the hell have we achieved?”
“Soul repossessions are up 4% in the last two quarters. We’ve got a record number of demons out in the world. The last five hearings for Final Destination have swung our way. This is a good time for us.”
“If it’s such a good time, why’re we a laughing stock, Brian? Huh? Tell us that!”
“Can’t go near that damned Waiting Room without someone singin’ Hellhound On My Trail. It’s gettin’ embarrassin’, is what it is.”
“Dude, we just want to do our job, but we can’t do it like this.”
“I really do understand your concerns, and believe me, we’re doing everything we can to straighten this little… difficulty out. But we need your support. We need you to be out there, in the front line, gathering our condemned souls. It’s what you’re good at, men. It’s what you’re made to do. You are bringers of Death! You are harbingers of Doom!”
“Huh.”
“Sounds pretty neat.”
“Look, chaps, it’s tough, God knows we all know that. The bastard. Anyway, you’re the public face of Hell. You’re the ones mixing with the people. We need you.”
“Well, now, if you put it like that…”
“Just, man, you need to do something about those damned Winchesters.”
“We will. I promise we will. We’ve got people working on it day and night, and we will get them in here. Look, can I go back and tell the Chief Exec we’ve sorted this out? You’ll be back at work?”
“Sure.”
“That’s great. Really. Wonderful. All right. I’ll see you both later.”
“See ya, Brian.”
“Working day and night?”
“C’mon, Mort, they’ll get those guys.”
“Well, now, I wouldn’t bet the hell fire.”
“Yeah. I’m not gonna take that action.”
“I’m right proud of you, Jed.”
“Bob got back from the fifth circle. Dude’s a legend.”
“Damn right. Well, let’s go get our sheet. Condemned souls ain’t just goin’ to hang around waitin’ for us.”
“Yeah, man. We’re bringers of death and harbingers of doom. We rock.”
“Amen to that.”
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Also, yay me for once again flinging an idea out and making someone write it. It is my raison d'etre, after all.
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You win at life!
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Dean Winchester’s been on and off our sheets so much Dolores had to order more white-out.
*snickers* Poor Dolores.
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*ponders*
That's right. Cause this came from your frightfully inventive and amazing brain.
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eck, we couldn’t even keep a hold on ole John Winchester, and we had him down here for best part of a year. Have you guys got your heads up your asses or what?” HA HA HA!!!! You'd get in trouble for that for sure!
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Would you mind terribly if I translated this story into Russian? Of course, a link to the original version and credits will be provided.
Thank you once again for writing it!
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*Giggles*
*hugs*