[ST] Absolution :: PG :: Gen ::1/1

[chaletian]

Title: Absolution
Author: chaletian
Fandom: Star Trek
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Star Trek XI
Summary: Chekov is avoiding Spock; Spock thinks he knows why.



Enterprise is bright and beautiful and Chekov knows that this is right, this is where he is meant to be, and he just wishes he could be entirely happy about it. But there's something hanging over him; something that finds him in the transporter room trying to perfect algorithms just in case. Someone who finds him in the transporter room.

"Mr Chekov."

Chekov is absorbed in his work, and jumps at the sudden appearance of another person. Commander Spock is in the doorway, then moves inwards, past Chekov, rests a hand on the partition between transporter control and the bases. He stands there for a moment, then turns to face Chekov.

"C-Commander Spock."

"I believe you have been avoiding me, Ensign."

Chekov swallows nervously, and wonders wildly whether you're even allowed to avoid a senior officer, whether he should deny it utterly, or admit to what is patently true; only, admitting it would logically lead to discussing why he was avoiding Spock, and that was the conversation he'd been dreading in the first place.

"N-no," he says. It sounds unconvincing, even to him, and he raises his chin slightly and tries again. "I heffen't avoided you, Commander."

Spock receives this reply in inscrutable silence, then an eyebrow quirks upwards. "I do not believe that to be true, Ensign. I have observed your routines over the past two weeks, and they seem deliberately designed to remove you from my orbit." He pauses, then continues, "It has been remarked upon."

Chekov flushes. Bad enough that Spock himself has noticed, but that people should be talking about it!

"I..."he begins, then trails off.

"At first," says Spock, "I assumed there was a personality conflict about which I was unaware. But I no longer believe that to be the case." Chekov remains silent, and Spock turns his back on him, moving further into the transporter room. Neither speaks for a moment, then two, then three. Chekov watches the back of Spock's head, notices the infinitesimal movement that indicates the Vulcan is about to speak.

"The fact that you were unable to safely beam my mother to the Enterprise is causing you discomfort," says Spock. "This is... understandable, but illogical. There was nothing anyone could have done. Events progressed too rapidly."

"If I could hev-"

"Even the most experienced transporter officer would have failed," says Spock. "There is nothing for which to reproach yourself, Ensign." He heads back towards the doorway, pauses, looks down at where Chekov is sitting. "You are inexperienced, but allow me to assure you that on this ship there will be deaths. There will be tragedies. While it is important to take responsibility for one's actions, it is also important to accept that some things are beyond our control. Your performance on Vulcan was admirable. And I... do not blame you."

He leaves, and Chekov sits and watches him go. It's gone, the weight hanging over him, and he breathes deep.

He does one more pass over his mathematics, then returns to his quarters, running a hand along the corridor wall as he walks. The Enterprise is bright and beautiful and he belongs there.

THE END

Comments

[dallin-dae.livejournal.com]

I really like the idea that Chekov might have been feeling guilty about not being able to save Spock's mother. A lovely little insight into both of them.

[x2xbandgeekx2x.livejournal.com]

*grumbles over having to find yet another tag in my memories for ST fic* =P I love this! It's the perfect angsty situation, and Chekov is adorable, and Spock is just Spock, and YES!

♥

[affectingly.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was very well written and I loved the tone and the flow. The characterization was also really solid, which is impressive in such a short piece. Great work, thank you for sharing! :D

[carolynp.livejournal.com]

Perfect.

[mrstater.livejournal.com]

Oh, it had not occurred to me that Chekov would be feeling guilty about not beaming Amanda out. But of course he would, especially after seeing Spock lose it. You've really captured his youthfulness here, and I have so much love for Spock understanding his behavior and setting out to reassure Chekov. Lovely, lovely fic.

[saavikam77.livejournal.com]

Awww... Poor Chekov. It's been bothering me since I saw the movie, that he must be eaten up with guilt over losing Spock's mother like that. I'm glad Spock was able to reassure him. :)

[ella-menno.livejournal.com]

(This icon seemed appropriate, given the story.)

Wonderful - both character voices rang amazingly true. A lovely, bittersweet little story.

[akayalovesyaoi.livejournal.com]

Wow, it's no wonder Checov blamed himself, but it's good that Spock cleared that matter for him.

[oximore.livejournal.com]

I really loved it! I can imagine Chekov feeling bad about it very easily, and it's was truly well written! :D

[twtd]

I've been waiting for someone to write a fic like this. It was wonderful.

[seren-ccd.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. Thank you for writing this. I was hoping someone would. I love the image at the end of him running his hand along the walls, beautiful and whimsical and something he would do. Just lovely.

[schweinsty.livejournal.com]

Aww, this was sweet. I was hoping someone would write fic like this, and you did it really well :D. I especially like how you wrote Spock; it was totally IC.

Thanks for sharing!

[bramble-rose.livejournal.com]

Thank You! This is exactly what Chekov needed to hear, and your Spock voice was Perfect!

[illariy.livejournal.com]

*soft exhale* Ah.

Chekov looked so defeated in the transporter room after Amanda died, I believe he really needed to hear this... even though he seemed okay later in the film, these things have a way of catching up with a person after all the immediate stress is gone. Such fitting Spock dialogue, too. :-) Chekov bounces back quickly but well, he's young and generally an enthusiastic kind of guy so I can easily believe that. Thanks for sharing this very enjoyable fic. :D

[aelora.livejournal.com]

I have been dying for someone to broach this topic since my first viewing of the film. Thank you so much for doing so! I can't imagine after Chekov's reaction on screen when he lost her that he wouldn't be suffering from the guilt of it for long after.

[padmekenobi27.livejournal.com]

Sad to think that Chekov really blamed himself for the death of Spock's mother, and that Spock actually confronted him and told him that it was not his fault. Very nice. :)

[openmydoors.livejournal.com]

This was really poignant, and unexpected (lol my brain was all Chekov/Spock porn! \o/) on my end. I really enjoyed it. :)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I like this very much. I like how Chekov is so young and awkward, and Spock is in his own odd way very kind.

[sperrywink]

Aww, poor Chekov and Spock. This was a wonderful little snapshot.

[exuberantself.livejournal.com]

Firstly, thank you for addressing the fact that Chekov would undoubtedly blame himself for Amanda's death, even if it was pretty much unavoidable.

Secondly, the characters are spot-on. Especially the fact that Chekov is young without being childish. The part I love most though is the way that Spock is almost benevolent with his forgiveness; it's like he doesn't think the act is necessary (why acknowledge the result when there was no action to cause it?), but recognizes that it will have the desired effect.

Finally, the ending. Awwwwww. But that's mostly because I have a longstanding love of Chekov in all his forms.

[stargateluv.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

Everyone above me has expressed exactly how I feel about this fic! Wonderful!

[fearlessfan.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was lovely! Such nice character moments for both of them.

[whatifisaidno.livejournal.com]

Oh. :(

Great character study. Oh Chekov.

[floridapeaches.livejournal.com]

Dude, wait, what. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FIC FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW THE MOVIE. It's like you look in my head and picked out EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. :DDDDDDDDDD

Seriously, though, there HAD to be some kind of repercussion for Chekov. I mean, he pulls one out of his ass, saves two people falling through the air with no chute, then loses HIS CAPTAIN'S MOTHER? DDDD: He looks devastated when it happens, and I have actualfax been waiting for someone to pick up on that. THANK YOU! <3333

[kaiyah19.livejournal.com]

It's perfect. You've captured them both perfectly.

[storm-of-roses.livejournal.com]

I agree. (with everything in general.) no, really, I've been waiting for this as well. Very well done, written, developed, ect. I've been reading all of your fic and I love it to death....mind if I friend you?

[talietha.livejournal.com]

You have captured the characters beautifully.

An intimate, heartfelt moment.
You write these instances with a good emotional balance.
Thank you.

[spacerhino.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad someone decided to write this. As soon as I saw it happen and saw Chekov's face in the movie-- I just knew that it was something he would stew about later, once everything was over. Thanks so much for writing it :D

[mariole.livejournal.com]

I really wondered about this scenario, and love what you did with it. Chekov has _got_ to feel hideous, but trust Spock to be perceptive, brief, and kind. Lovely.

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

*sniff* Lovely.