chaletian: (glee sue sylvester)
So, I've been a bit quiet recently, and will continue to be so: new job means no internet (or time) during the day, and I'm too tired/have too much stuff to do in the evenings. Or something. Anyway, meme! (Saving me from having to actually structure my thoughts or my head in any way.)

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-word answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First name: Laura/Liss/Squeen/Miss Laura/whatever.

2. Age: 29 (fuck me, when did that happen?)

3. Location: London. Woo. I love London liek woah. I've lived here for just over nine years. More specifically, I live sort of on the Barnes/East Sheen border (like such a thing exists...)

4. Occupation: I work in healthcare, and mostly faff on computers in a nonchalant auditing kind of way.

5. Partner: Meh. I am a lone wolf. A LONE WOLF, people. Also a functional mute*.

6. Kids: None. I sort of like the idea in the abstract, but I don't know how I'd feel about the reality.

7. Brothers/sisters: I have a younger brother. His name's Chris, he's 27, he recently got engaged to his girlfriend, which is quite exciting, because Bex is ace.

8. Pets: None. I'm not big on animals, although I have perhaps foolishly promised Katie she may have one real cat when we're old.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

1. Work. I recently left my job in a private hospital to return to the NHS, which I'm quite excited about. It's quite a bizarre mix of uber-concentration at new things and boredom at not really having a proper thing to do myself. Also, I have no desk yet so my wheely chair is my kingdom. I have good feelings about this job, but I seem to be getting up very early to get there and I'm really tired! Early nights for me.

2. CHRISTMAS!!! I love Christmas so, so much. I love the lights and the music and the smells and the presents and being allowed to watch A Muppet Christmas Carol (this weekend! this weekend when we put up the tree!) and going home to see my family and parties and clementines with leaves and just the whole exciting awesomeness of it all.

3. Pop culture. I love pop culture. TV and films and (these days) comic books and all that. Currently obsessing totally over Merlin, which is so adorable. I am a full on Gwen/Arthur fan, because they are ♥. But I'm watching loads of stuff: Supernatural (one has to get through it, after all), One Tree Hill (Naley!!!), White Collar, The Mentalist, Castle (OH NATHAN FILLION YOUR STUPID FACE), The Big Bang Theory (Katie and I sing the theme tune; it's highly amusing. Also: Sheldon!! ♥ ♥ ♥), HIMYM (when Katie watches it when I'm there - NPH, how are you so awesome?), NCIS (although Ziva seems to have gone quite bland these days), NCIS LA for the lolz, and probably random other crap too. Oh, TV... ♥

4. Katie, Katie, Katie, my tiny darling. Katie (as I can't imagine people haven't guessed) is my flatmate and WAS PUT ON THIS EARTH PURELY TO STOP ME KILLING MYSELF FROM MY OWN STUPIDITY. That is all. And she totally gives me all the attention I need (A LOT), which makes me happy. And she is full of win and comic genius and is a SKY FAIRY!!!!!!

5. My hair. Of course. I think the roots need dying again and my fringe needs a trim, but my hair's generally so amazingly good at the moment I'm scared to do it myself. Hmm. Quandary.

10. Parents. My parents are brilliant and very funny, and also incredibly annoying and spesh. My mother went to Abbeydale Girls' Grammar, and my father went to Abbeydale Boys' Grammar, and they met in the sixth form, started going out, went to university together and got married. My father likes going out walking. My mother has this thing for ironing. When Katie's parents have dinner with us, it's very chilled and laid back and nice. When my parents have dinner with us, there's lots of talking loudly and being ridiculous and taking the piss out of everyone and everyone being drama queens (mostly my father).

11. Who are some of your closest friends? Well, if we take a list and organise it from 1 to 10, where 1 is my best friend and 10 is someone I secretly hate... Quelle ridiculous question. [ profile] weird_bird is my BFF. [ profile] katie__pillar is the tiny flickering light in the otherwise tragic gloom of my soulless existence. I have lots of other chums too, all of whom are ace, otherwise I would not be friends with them, as I am a bitch, and do not really make any effort to be friends with people who aren't ace.

* That is a hilarious NCIS joke.
chaletian: (Default)
Gacked from [ profile] megaleena:

Five names you go by:

Three things you are wearing right now:
Red shoes
Green cardigan
Black underwear

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
The weekend
HR to sort themselves the fuck out

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
Random patient called Allan
Random orthopaedic surgeon called Harry

Two things you did last night:
Turned out my desk
Read epic amounts of Gwen/Arthur fic

Two things you ate today:
Oat cakes

Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
Go to Clapham to watch Katie buy a hilarious vampire cape
Take the rubbish from my desk out to the bins Katie already did it. ♥

Two longest car rides:
Sheffield to Florence
London to the Charente

Two of your favorite beverages:
Yellow smoothie
Pink milk

The people you’d like to respond:
Why would I be interested in other people?


Oct. 23rd, 2009 09:57 am
chaletian: (narnia once a queen)
Gacked from my entire flist:

The problem with LJ: We all think we are so close, but really we know nothing about one another. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

(a) I have been rubbish at asking people questions myself and (b) it's not like I don't tell everyone every single detail of my life ever, but please entertain me on this dreary Friday by allowing me to talk about myself!
chaletian: (buzzcocks all tracks preston)
Voice post meme! Which tragically sounds crap, either due to me or the phone, I am not sure...

1) What's your name?
2) How old are you?
3) Where are you from? Are you living there right now?
4) Is it cold where you are?
5) What's the time?
6) What are you wearing?
7) What was the last thing you listened to?
8) What was the last thing you ate?
9) What was the last thing you watched on tv?
10) What's your favorite tv show? Why?
11) Quick! Find a book, or something with text on it! Flip to a random page and read some of it! GO!
12) What was the last movie you saw? How was it?
13) Do YOU think you have an accent? Talk about that.

chaletian: (blackadder lord)
So, first things first: the handwriting meme, gacked from *waves vague hand* people.

1. Write your username.
2. Write your 2 favourite bands/groups of the moment.
3. Write something you love, aka lemme see your heart.
4. Write the name of your favourite person of all time.
5. Write the name of your recent favoured person.
6. Tag 6 people to do this meme.

Under the cut, as massive jpgs tend to rile people... )

And coming up next, the voice post meme. Look forward to it, folks, I'm sure it will be a beauty. Katie and I have already been having a little chuckle about listening to each other's voices on LJ because we never hear them in real life (it's hilarious because IT'S NOT TRUE).

ETA: Why does fucking LJ insist on resizing images when you've never even asked it to? Why? FOR THE LOVE OF ESMERELDA, WHY?
chaletian: (st awesome jim)
So, in light of this meme, let's hear it for me talking about things I don't usually talk about.

It was a short list.

1. Lightbulbs ([ profile] kathrynw)

I do, in fact, have an opinion on lightbulbs. I am all for energy-saving lightbulbs. Energy saving is a good thing. It helps save the planet (I know, I know: what, at this juncture, does that expression even mean any more? Well, actually, in this instance, they use far less electricity to run, which means less energy has to be produced which means burning fewer fossil fuels (a) which are not a renewable source and therefore likely to run out at some stage and (b) the burning of which produces by-products that have a detrimental effect on the environment - I assume everyone knows that; I don't even know why I even bothered to type it out) and also save us money on our electricity bill. Woo. Everyone wins. However, sadly, energy lightbulbs also suck. They take forever to turn on properly and they aren't as bright even then. Also, the design is ugly. I love the old standard lightbulbs - there's something so iconic about them. I have a standard lightbulb in the lamp on my bedside table, mostly because I'm not sure energy ones would fit with the lampshade without making it look like the lampshade was giving birth to plastic intestines.

2. The Future ([ profile] megaleena)

The future. Oh, the future. That's a pretty wide remit to ask someone to LJ about, Mog. In terms of the general future, mostly I think it's going to pobble along much as it has already. Maybe in a few years there'll be another massive leap forward in technology and we'll have flying cars, but to be completely frank with you, I don't think Britain's transport structure is up to the challenge (Britain: the country that didn't bother rebuilding and expanding on its Roman roads until the eighteenth century), so I don't really see that happening. Ditto also living on Mars; living in underwater towns; shuttle services to the moon for £37.99 (+ booking fees) with easyShuttle; Vulcans deciding we're technologically advanced enough to contact; Vogons deciding to destroy the planet to build a new hyperspace bypass; world peace. I do worry that this country is becoming increasingly authoritarian (though welcome the news that ID cards are off the agenda for the time being), but mostly I trust that the political pendulum will swing back the other way.

Alternatively, of course, we will have an actual apocalypse (likely causes: massive climate change [cf The Day After Tomorrow]; alien invasion (OK, that's less likely); massive collapse of financial systems; meteorite hitting the earth and Bruce Willis not being available to DRILL INTO ITS CORE to save us; zombies), in which I will soon die due to frequently mentioned inability to fight to the death for scattered remnants of Waitrose inventory.

For my own personal future: who knows? As Anne said, the future is a bend in the road up ahead. Maybe Captain Kirk will come through a time vortex, fall in love with me, and give me an alien STD. Maybe not. Maybe Chris will win the lottery and Katie and I will have a bookshop-cum-tearoom. Maybe I will die tragically young and everyone will weep at my funeral. Maybe I will stumble across the path of a stockbroker or doctor or Waterstones employee or IT advisor or something and get married and have generally neglected children. Maybe I will just chug along as I do now and have my little jobs and Katie and I will indeed end up as old women with scanty pensions and ceramic cats. Who knows? Or dares to dream? /Percy voice.

3. The Great Cooking Challenge 2009 ([ profile] katherinea)

Shut up, Katherine! Actually, I've done a recipe or two that I haven't LJed about, but I can't remember them now! Maybe I will try again through the Autumn...

4. Are there really things I don't LJ about? ([ profile] ungratefulwench)

Actually, I don't think this counts as a topic under the meaning of the act but I DON'T CARE; I will treat it as such. No, there aren't really things I don't LJ about. Basically, as everyone has doubtless noticed by now, I like the sound of my own voice (or the look of my own words - whatevs). I have lots of thoughts and they are, naturally, all AWESOME, and I like to share them, whether they're on religion or politics or books or TV or my hair or Jim Kirk and his tiny broken psyche or Spock and his emo life now that I've left him. Actually, you know what I don't LJ about? Other people. I should probably stop being so self-centred, but what is the diary concept about if not being self-centred? Answers on a postcard...
chaletian: (bard r&j fuck it)
Jesus Christ on a laminating machine ("I just think the Commandments would look better all shiny and plastic-covered, Dad. Stop riding me!"), today is dull. We are all so bored we might resort to cannibalism just for the rush. In fact, I am so bored, I am going to reveal part one of my epic new undertaking, viz sharing my teenage diary with you. Don't worry. I'm going to cut most of it.

I used to sporadically write a diary. It was my Winnie-the-Pooh journal, which my parents gave me. I was 12 when I got it, and the bulk of the entries are from when I was 12/13. I came across it when I was getting some writing paper for today's letters. And I'd like to say this: OMG READING THE CRAP YOU WROTE AS A TEENAGER IS JUST EMBARRASSING. It's not even emo and fun, it's just boring. But I'm going to share, anyway. PLEASE NOTE I WAS ANNOYING AND IMMATURE AND APPARENTLY QUITE MIS. DO NOT JUDGE ME.

Read more... )

[1] Chris (who is 2 years younger than me) had been doing Latin since he was 7. Prep schools, eh?
[2] Oh, the tragic irony.
[3] I'm really unclear on why he was "wonder boy ii" and not just "wonder boy" - this epithet will now remain a mystery forever.
[4] I hope this modest dream has now come to pass.
[5] I know. Shocking. It sends little thrills of horror down my spine. I don't think I done anything weird style-wise; I suspect the mockery was due to its ginger hue.
[6] Really? Was she really? I was the most boring 12 year old in existence, there wasn't much anyone could say about me.
[7] As it happens, I passed.
[9] I assume this was one of those hilariously ridiculous lines ("Goodbye, Vikings") that stays with you but makes absolutely no sense out of context.
[10] Ah, the Star Trek novelisation. I went through a lot of these in my youth. Yesterday's Son was a particular favourite, as it heavily featured Spock.
[11] Enemy Mine was the first Mills & Boon I ever read. I loved it. I still love it. I recently bought a reissued version from Amazon. Still it was the beginning of my literary end.
[12] So. Yeah. Odd, you may be thinking. This doesn't read like her, you may be thinking. Who is this David Crapper?, you may be thinking. Is this an epic romance the likes of which we have never seen, whose twists and turns will lead us on a breathless journey of love and sacrifice?, you may be thinking. The answer is no, this is not an epic romance the likes of which you have never seen. David Crapper lived down the road. He was at Birkdale in the year below Chris. And, in collusion, I suspect, with my dear young brother, he wrote that entry himself (in bright purple ink).
chaletian: (Default)
So, I know lots of people have friended me recently for fic (hello!) and I thought, hmm, should I do some sort of vague introductory post as Katie did recently, but then I thought FFS don't do that nobody cares because it's for fic, but then I thought, but I love talking about myself, why would I deprive myself of the joy? Because NOBODY CARES, I thought. Then I thought (further), well, I could compromise, and write an introductory post about me and PUT IT BEHIND A CUT. Huh, I thought, very cunning. Thanks, I thought.

Then it turned into a pome. About me. And I can't possibly, possibly, under any circumstances, lj-cut a pome about me.

or, You Can Tell It Will Be Awesome

Life began, I here narrate(y)
In nineteen hun-der-rud and eighty
When doctors from around did come
To see the baby's coal black bum
You see, it's true, I'm quite contrary
I'd come out backwards (very scary)
I had red hair and eyes of blue
Which turned to green as these things do
The place so blessed with this glad tiding
Was Leeds, in Yorkshire's great West Riding
I stayed there but a year, I'm told
To Birkenhead we went (vee cold)
At which point my story saddens
As a boy-child my parents gladdened
It's true, worse luck, they'd procreated
From '82 was my nemesis dated
(His name is Chris, he drove me mad
Though I now admit he's not that bad)
From north to east (oh Essex lair)
And thence to that Manx island fair
Then on to Tunbridge Wells in Kent
And off to boarding school I went
Next up was Yorkshire (South this time)
And lastly Derbyshire (no rhyme)
My parents yet abode there now
(Step up, darlings, take a bow)

Enough of them, now back to me
I'm off to university
I went to Oxford (truly, really)
But soon got sad and very dreary
I had a thing and went all weirdy
But not - be glad - remotely beardy
I came to London (happy day)
And started honest work for pay
And that's the truth, s'welp me Lord
I hope you haven't all been bored*

*Ha ha, I lie, I know I'm awesome
Shit, nothing rhymes with that but foursome
Fuck, I'm cornered, what to do?
I really wish I had a clue
Change the subject, there's a plan
I just cooked mushrooms in a pan!
Ha! They'll never I see I faltered
My poem has been barely altered
Oh God, I'm brilliant, it's so true
Shut up! It scans! I hate you too
Fine, piss off, I'm going now

No, wait, there's more, it's scarce begun
Come back, it's pretty rude to shun
I like books and comics (not too freaky)
I like hot soup that's very leeky
Joss Whedon's God, I don't deny
Fuck you FOX, I loved Firefly
The West Wing, too, was not all shit
Blackadder, also, full of wit
Star Trek, Stargate, Atlantis too
Plus Buffy, Bones and Doctor Who
Fine, that's enough, I'm getting bored

* I really wouldn't that believe


May. 27th, 2009 11:52 am
chaletian: (Default)
Reply to this post by yelling "Words". I'll pick five words that I associate with you. Post to your journal about those words and get your friends to do the same. These were the five words that [ profile] kathrynw picked for me...

1. Hair (yours obviously. Like anyone else has hair worthy of talking about)
2. Fic
3. The bread machine
4. Television
5. Uniform (or unicorn which I typed first by mistake)

Read more... )
chaletian: (Default)
I'm sure people are always saying how like a robot I am...

You Are An INTP
The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But you're not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic
chaletian: (Default)
Gacked from most people, at this point.

So, a challenge. I mean, I talk about myself SO MUCH ALL THE TIME, that really the only secrets I have left are the deep, embarrassing kind that would lead to everyone seeing what a shit person I really am, and I'm damn sure as mustard not sharing those! So I will endeavour to make do.

ETA: Actually, reading through this, there are probably very few of these things that people didn't know already. Tant pis.

1. I actually didn't used to be this self-centred and attention-seeking. It's a relatively new development. Quiet and reserved, that was me.

2. My memories of childhood are hazy, but I think I've been an atheist since I discovered that "God made the world" wasn't quite the immutable truth that "Daddy goes to work" and "Mummy makes dinner" were. I think I've called myself an atheist since I first knew what the word meant.

3. Primary school was not a good time for me. I went to four different schools, made practically no friends, had trouble with interpersonal relationships, didn't stand out academically (that I can tell, anyway), and in fact did pretty much no work (there was an unfortunate episode with a project about Eqypt; let's never speak of it). My little brother was supposed to be the brainy one, which I resented (I'd actually forgotten that until I re-read my old diary; we sort of switched places not far into senior school).


5. I think the foundation of the state of Israel, whilst understandable in the context of contemporary politics, was one of the less genius plans ever created.

6. It really does grieve me that I cannot sing. One day, I will do something about trying some lessons of some sort to see whether this tragedy is irreversible.

7. I don't believe in anything spiritual or supernatural.

8. Although I have previously documented my totally shit memory with regards to my past, and truly do remember very little of my childhood, oddly - though not, perhaps, entirely unexpectedly - I do remember quite a lot of the television I watched, even from quite a young age. Endless Blue Peter. Children of the Sun, and Eighty Days Around the World. The Snow Spider and Children of Green Knowe. Simon the Witch and Rent-A-Ghost. Henry the Cat and Morph. Doogie Howser and Press Gang. Absolutely shedloads of the stuff.

9. When I was about ten, I cut off my hair. My mother may have slapped me, I can't quite remember now.

10. I passed my 11+ exam, but didn't go to a grammar school. So, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure why my parents made me take it.

11. I hated my brother like unto death when we were growing up. Seriously hated. Wanted to hurt him SO BADLY. He's the only person who has ever provoked in me that visceral urge to cause someone pain. Love him like a b. now.

12. I have so many regrets about decisions I've made in my life. Sometimes I fantasise about somehow going back to being 18, or 16, or 11 or whatever, and living my life over again to try and not balls it up so much. But in these fantasies I always have to come up with plans to end up with the same friends and living in the same place, so I guess I don't regret that much after all.

13. I sometimes wish I was famous. Bet I'd made an awesome celebrity.

14. I used to read books on my lap when I was supposed to be doing other stuff at school. Shades of Anne and Ben Hur... *g*

15. I wish my mother didn't mind so much about me being fat.

16. I want to write a novel, but I don't think I've got anything to say.


Sep. 24th, 2008 11:26 pm
chaletian: (pgw stiffy byng)
Katie and I were on the bus on the way home from seeing Tropic Thunder (vee amusing). Katie took out her book to read. I glanced over. Then I had this thought. For real.

Hmm, I read vol 1 of Walking Dead, and quite enjoyed it, but frankly it just doesn't match up to watching my hair in the bus window.

I fear all hope for me may have passed.

Let us sit upon the floor and tell sad stories.
chaletian: (p+p lydia)
♥ Katie and I are both so unfeasibly awesome that I don't fully understand how there is not a TEAR IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE each time we are in the same room.

♥ Just had some scrambled eggs for tea. They were of a good vintage. Also had pink milk. Is there anything so glorious in the pantheon of possible drinks? I don't think so. Challenge me as you will, nothing will defeat pink milk!

♥ Played online scrabble with Emma for quite a long time this afternoon (I was triumphant; unfazed as I was by her constant stream of invective and abuse, all a pathetic attempt to out-psych me. Pah I say to that!), which was fun.

♥ We are now watching Phantom of the Opera. Now, I don't want to put myself out on a critical limb here, but I think it is possible - nay, almost certain - that this is the most ludicrous film ever committed to celluloid. Christine Daaé belongs in some kind of home for the terminally bewildered. Phantom needs a psychiatrist. Minnie Driver is awesome, and I want to play that part. I can't remember if I said at the time, but I was devastated on going to see Ben in Il Trovatore at Holland Park, when I discovered that the job most suited to me was in fact that of an opera singer. Think about, mes chers. Lolling round on stage, being as melodramatic as possible, wearing big dresses, the focus of all: it's perfect for me. I think it might actually be ONE OF THE MOST TRAGIC THINGS IN THE WORLD that I cannot sing a note.

♥ Apparently people are coming round to dinner tomorrow. Maybe I should possibly give some thought to that. Maybe I should think of a menu. Maybe (not to go crazy) I should acquire some food from somewhere. (Fret not: I was thinking some sort of food emporium, rather than peering into dustbins or poking around gutters.)

♥ In re my previously unposted thoughts re fundamental subjectivity of universe etc, I have apparently written about it before here and here. Lots of rambly bollocks, as far as I can make out.

♥ No more Bill Bailey in Buzzcocks. :-(

♥ We also, incidentally, watched the latest episode of Lost in Austen, which I am loving a great deal and also a lot.
chaletian: (buzzcocks reading chantelle)
Today's topics of conversation will range from, um, me, to the essential subjectivity of the universe. Good times.

So, me. Got up. Got lost in a YouTube spiral FOR SIX HOURS which I'm still struggling to comprehend. DLed various bits. Had a bath. Got dressed. Went to Waitrose. Never say I don't know how to live it up (as the kids say).

Last night, acting as the bread to the tuna mayonnaise that was catch-up Mock the Week, we watched Terminator 2, which is, of course, a fine, fine film, though tbh I was laughing by the end due to some slightly dodgy acting and the total FAIL! at logic. Whatevs. Still love it. And I remember how disappointed I was by Terminator 3, not only because it was such a shite film, but because it turned out the future was all preordained after all, which made me cross BECAUSE IT'S NOT, DAMMIT!!

Supernatural. Oh, Supernatural! )

Actually, I'm a bit annoyed because I've had various things to LJ about over the last day or two and, as usual, they have mostly fallen out of my head, so I'm a little bit bitter. O Mnemosyne, come to me! But only if you are in fact the Muse who faffs around with remembering things and not someone I've invented with the POWER OF MY MIND, otherwise don't bother. Now, see, I could go and look that up on Wikipedia, except for that part where I can't because the internet hates us. Stupid wireless router stopped working a while ago, so we're having to hook ourselves up with cables, which is beyond annoying (but not as far out as Thunderdome <-- heh, did you see what I did there? God, I've been on fire this week...). Anyway, BT line blah blah blah nothing fucking works blah blah blah. Am writing this in Notepad and will post later. Ooh, time lag. Who knows, the world may have ended before I ever manage to do that, and I will be the only person to ever read this. Freaky. Or, fine, OK, not so much.

Been reading Transmetropolitan over the last week or two. It is so amazingly ace it may have surpassed Fables as my favourite comic. Have other people read it?

I ran my bath too hot and I'm afraid I might actually have burnt off my shins. Also, when I stuck my leg in and it was hot and I took it out again, there was a big red patch on the side of my knee. "Hélas!" I said (in my head, because I was alone, and I'm not the kind of weirdy freak who talks to herself or anything), "I think some of my skin might actually HAVE SCALDED OFF!" and I was a little disconcerted at the possibility, envisaging a dreadful process of skin grafts and therapy and appearances in channel 5 documentaries in my future. Fortunately, you will be glad to hear, on closer examination it turned out to be the smudged remains of the first class stamp with which Emma had assaulted me yesterday and not OMG NO SKIN ON MY KNEE. So that was good.

The universe, eh? Actually, you know what, I was going to have a bit of thing about the fact that there is nothing that can be known except through a person's head and therefore everything is subjective and there can be no objective view and blah blah blah but I've got this far into the post and lost interest. Note to self: write about this kind of stuff first instead of procrastinating.

Ooh, looking over my old blog, and thought I would share this gem (I think it came off a Not the Nine O'clock News annual or something):

The Gospel According to St Sylvester )
chaletian: (firefly wash evil laugh)
Gather round, chaps, for today is an important day in my little fandom life. I have finally (and believe me, the sweat and angst this task provoked was beyond measure) created a master list of all my fic on the internet ever, even the really, really shit stuff I wrote when I was 18.

The Masterlist of Fictional Genius
chaletian: (gq british)
♥ My god, I am such a feedback whore. It’s like I can’t stop myself checking my email every two minutes (no exaggeration). I think it is a species of attention-seeking… *g*

♥ OK, there is, as we all know, nothing more annoying than someone going on about how broke they are and then going through a list of stuff they’ve just bought, but I was in Oxfam yesterday and found tapes for BBC dramatizations of Diary of a Provincial Lady, Cold Comfort Farm, Hay Fever and Private Lives. Tell me, someone, how I was supposed to resist that? When there pulses through my veins the blood of an Englishwoman? £6 well spent, je pense. I listened to Hay Fever whilst making barbecue chicken last night (yep, you know the recipe, live from the 1970s and bearing no resemblance to barbecued anything), and it is possibly one of the most glorious comic plays in the English language.

♥ We have tickets for Emperor Jones and Awake and Sing now. And tomorrow is Shark Attack III – yoicks!!

♥ I don’t know quite where this sudden yen for writing NCIS fic has come from. It is most peculiar. But anyway, I was lamenting the fact that I couldn’t write dialogue (hence lots of mostly gloomy introspection), and then decided that I would give it a go, and so wrote a fic that was almost all dialogue, and it came out mostly OK, so yay me.

♥ I love Josh.
chaletian: (mb never sleep)
I have calcium fear. Although my cheese intake is only moderate, I drink vast quantities of milk. Maybe one day I too, like Tommy, will end up with a giant cheese head.

You think it's impossible, but is it really impossible?
chaletian: (pgw stiffy byng)
Gosh, you lot *are* lucky. Due to non-functioning wireless, you get my stream-of-consciousness whilst preparing a meal...

I was going to post, once again extolling the wonders of wireless, only to find that, once again, I had lost my connection. Helas. I suspect a pattern.

I am in the kitchen, cooking spag bol (yes, I make this practically every other day…), and making garlic-bread-out-of-M&S-ciabatta, listening to Bugsy Malone, and wearing my stripey apron. God’s in his metaphorical heaven and all is well with my world.

Now, the question with which I am faced, as the kettle boils, is do we want actual spag, or linguine (actually, I’m vetoing that right off; I always cook it slightly too much), or fusilli, or fusilli bucati? What to choose? What pasta did Baby Jee have with his bol, that’s what we must ask ourselves.

My bol is all onion. Why have our recent Sainsbury’s onions been so giant? Why, Englebert?

God, I love having a gas hob again. I can’t think how I managed with those damned electric jobbies.

Executive decision: spag it is. Why improve on the perfect?

Have grated small cheese mountain, to satisfy Katie’s endless lust for cheese. Why do my friends have such a cheese fetish? And, obviously, by ‘my friends’, I do mean Katie and Kathye and nobody else. Unless other people have cheese fetishes about which I remain in ignorance. Answers on a postcard, folks…

Once again, have made dinner (well, almost), and am not particularly hungry. Note to self: on coming home, do not lie on bed, faff on internet, and eat fag end of a bag of peanut M&Ms.

Actually, on looking at cheese mountain, is actually more of a cheese hillock. Will go and grate more.

Done. Cheese hillock expanded to mountain proportions.

It is very warm in the kitchen. I cannot reach the windows. My life sucks.

Appear to have lost bay leaf in bol. Am about to launch exploratory expedition.

Fuck! Bread ready! Bol ready! Spag boiling! Not ready! Nothing ready! WHY AM I WRITING STUPID LJ POST. FOCUS, GIRL, FOCUS!

Katie has arrived. All is well. Currently foiled by sink mank. Curses.

Sitting down. All is well.

And breathe.
chaletian: (p+p lydia)
♥ I have been a-shopping and purchased the following: one pair of jeans with red insides (cool) and red twiddly bits on the pockets (damned annoying); one green t-shirt (yep, like I'm going to have a shortage of those any time soon); one black and white striped belt; No 7 foundation; lip gloss. The jeans are very nice, albeit very long (inevitably).

♥ This led me to some contemplation of my figure, which I rarely do, because tbh I can't bring myself to care that much. Obviously I'd like to be slimmer, but I don't want it enough to, say, actually do anything about it. But I still get rather shamed, sometimes, which is quite stupid really, because who the fuck cares? But yes, I was inspecting the new jeans/t-shirt combo in the mirror, and feeling rather pleased that overall the outfit tended to work well with my one, if not positive, then least negative part, viz proportionally speaking not being over-endowed on the hip front. And then I felt like I didn't have the right particularly to find this pleasing, given that I am vastly overweight everywhere else. Ee, it's a tricky business this. Brains in jars. We'd all be much happier, is all I'm saying here...

♥ Need to make dinner. Pah. Means wrestling with the microwave to defrost mince. I hate defrosting stuff in the microwave. I FEAR the microwave. *looks around cautiously* Pretend //

// That is as far into this post as the autodraft thing saved. My entire post, including the part where I congratulated Marjorie on having downloaded, to date, 96% of season 3 of NCIS, was eaten. Pah.//

June 2016

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