Diary of a Suburban Squeen

Thing the first: I have somehow managed to plot a 12-book school series allegedly written by Josephine M. Bettany, and then get super invested in the characters. I will be sharing this extensively. I cannot lie.

Thing the second: Remember this time last year, when I was obsessively posting and filling prompts at the Awesome Ladies Ficathon? I have (embarrassingly) only just got round to listening to a podfic that podklb made of my Alice Longbottom fic, blow me bluebell bubbles, that I wrote for a Harry Potter prompt. The podfic is here (download here), and it is SUPERBLY read. Please do listen, because she did a truly smashing job.

Thing the third: Nellie, darling, remember that Bones vid I was going to show you in Dorset, only to be scuppered by the failiness of our internet? This is it. BEST BONES VID EVER.

Well, it looks to be a beautiful day out there, today! It's so exciting that spring finally seems to have peeked out of its burrow etc etc. For a couple of days last week, I didn't wear a coat when I went out! (I did it a third day, but nearly froze to death whilst being forced to wait forty minutes for a 493, so I can't really count it.) Anyway, I'm still so physically and mentally exhausted by having job that forces me to work constantly while there (ah, I chuckle but it's SO TRUE), that I am, once again, reduced to bullet-pointing my life.

♥ Megan's party yesterday was hilarious, but so much better was chatting with the grown-ups afterwards. Also, delicious chocolate cake with orange icing. Mmm. And Hannah in the ball pit never gets old.

♥ Grandpa's in hospital with his prostate cancer being crap. Boo. :( (However, slightly shaming to admit, but please don't imagine me being super-sad in a corner etc, as I don't see him a lot.)

♥ PCT board meeting tomorrow. Bound to be frustrating. Have a load of print-outs that I need to go through.

♥ Two interesting posts about women things: one here from liz_marcs and one here from the ineffable r_scribbles. Also, I have once again made tentative inroads into my Women I Like On TV At The Moment picspam, which may or may not one day reach fruition.

♥ I need to have a shower, and go to Richmond to take a top back to Monsoon. Also to buy hot cross bun goodness in Marks.

♥ I bought more PJ bottoms in Primark. As I wittily tweeted, the combination of Primark and pyjamas (and their proximity to where I work) will be my financial ruin. However, this is, of course, mere hyperbole. My own nature is my downfall. That's the root of some classic literature, right there.

♥ Following on neatly from the above point, once more I am selling things on eBay, if anyone's interested in acquiring GGBP books (and a few random other things).

Further to ankaret’s post mentioning the Schrodinger’s Rapist post and having ended up at this post about privilege, which happens to say, “If you've ever tried to describe to a man what it feels like to live under the threat of sexual assault and had him respond by suggesting pepper spray, a male escort, or self-defense classes, then you know in part what this is like”, I have been giving some thought to this concept of women being afraid of sexual assault in a way that men can’t conceive.

At first glance, I find posts like the Schrodinger’s Rapist to be a little OTT. I think to myself, you know, that’s all well and good, and yes a woman is far, far, (massively) far more likely to be sexually assaulted than a man, but I don’t actually walk down a street afraid that I’m going to be raped. I don’t see in every man I meet a potential rapist.

Except, I’ve been thinking about this some more, and I sort of do. The path from my local station to the main road my flat’s on runs through some woods. I walk down there alone late at night, and I’m not particularly worried about. But if it’s really dark, I don’t like it. When one of the lights stopped working, it freaked me out a bit. I always check behind me to see if anyone’s following me, and I’m never completely at ease until they’ve passed me. Occasionally there’ll be a couple of men just standing there, and that makes me uncomfortable. It’s not that it stops me walking down there. It’s not that I ever really articulate my worries even in my own head. It’s just that I feel relieved when I reach the main road.

I meet men, and I don’t think, “you could be a rapist for all I know.” But, come on, I don’t think it’s exactly that straightforward, is it? A friend of mine went to meet a man she’d meet on Match.com, and even though some of his texts that evening on her way to meet him made her uneasy, she was still planning to do it (fortunately, when it became apparent that she wasn’t going to sleep with him, he told her to forget it), and when she told me I was horrified! Jizzy Chrizzy, the woman’s got the sense of a beetle! Who knows what he would have done? When you meet strange men, of course you should tell someone where you’re going and with whom, and of course you should think twice if your spidey sense starts tingling. Because you never know. And that’s the point: as women, we know what can happen and (if we’ve actually got any common sense at all) our minds automatically plan accordingly. I might not consciously think a man might be a rapist, but instinctively I’m going to act as if it’s a possibility.

That’s a weird thing to have to write. Like I said, I’ve never really articulated this before. I’ve never really thought this before, not consciously.

Anyway, just to round this off, this has been said many times before by people better able to express it, but there is something so twisted about the whole “how women can protect themselves against rape” thing. In the dialogue about preventing sexual assault, it’s all about women being careful and women staying out of dark places and women carrying pepper sprays. What the fuck happened to men not raping women? Men learning that when a woman says no that might possibly be what she means? It’s not the women in this scenario who are the problem.

So, just some light Thursday thinking for everyone… *g*

Look: random artifacts from the Mary Rose. I love sunken ships; there's something so romantic about them. Or at least, not sunken ships themselves, but the sense of history being revealed.

So, I appreciate that CiF commenters are mad as toast, but this gem, on a sensible article about Catholic attitudes towards HIV/AIDS in Africa, is really something:

Condoms only prevent HIV if the transmision (sic) they physically block exceeds the extra sexual promiscuity they psychologically cause.

Absolutely mental.

Adding to my woe (already considerable), my left bra strap has been twisted for most of the day, which was very uncomfortable. It's tipping it down and I have no umbrella or, indeed, any coat. I didn't have time to blow dry my hair this morning so it looks shit. I didn't put on any make up, so I look shit. I am completely unironed and look like I slept in a laundry basket. The phone has NOT STOPPED RINGING, like people somehow think I might be interested in talking to them. I am SURROUNDED BY STUPID, as usual. The Fellow who's supposed to deal with patients has fucked off for the weekend without (i) telling anyone or (ii) doing any of the work I gave him this morning, some of it specifically to do with patients who are coming in VERY SOON INDEED.

Back in happier days, Katie and I went to see Inglourious Basterds on Wednesday (oh, Orange Wednesday, never leave), which I was a bit sceptical about seeing but OMG I LOVED IT LIEK WOAH. Absolutely brilliant. I would recommend it whole-heartedly.

ETA: Oh, Charlie Brooker, he's a card...

What's up, peeps? Hope everyone's had a good weekend (even ungratefulwench, labouring away *g*) - I didn't get as much done today as I hoped, but I haven't been too unproductive, so yay. Am just sitting down after a second foray to Sainsbury's and watching Kingdom (oh, Sir Stephen...), and thought I would do my rec post, as promised.

(Incidentally, I did some more WFG on Wikiquote, and discovered half yesterday's work gone, because there's a two-quote limit for half-hour episodes - pah, I say!)

Anyway. Yes. Recs.

One Life to Ascend To [SGA, Gen -> Slash] by rageprufrock
I'm sure most people who would be interested in this have read it already, but it's a hilarious look at the Ancients being mentalists and awesome Atlantis dailylife!fic. I could happily recommend any of rageprufrock's SGA fics. (There are sequels to this one - listed on her stories page - also beautifully funny.)
By late afternoon, there's an unofficial channel guide posted to the Atlantis BBS, and anybody with an ATA gene is stalked and harassed until they find another Ancient television to turn on--most of the programs are incomprehensible enough that the only true couch potatoes are the anthropologists. But the universality of bad soap operas makes One Life to Ascend To an instant hit, and at midnight, when John checks his email for the last time before crashing out, he finds that somebody's sent out a request for an episode summary. John rolls his eyes and goes to bed.

Lust Over Pendle [Harry Potter, Draco/Neville] by AJ Hall
This is probably one of the oldest recs I could make - I've loved this story for years. After the War, Draco tries to keep Malfoy Manor and his relationship going once he and Neville are outed in the Daily Prophet. Golden age detective novel-esque, beautifully written, hilarious, and, best of all, well be-sequeled.
"Well, I suppose I could try to get a job. Can't say what I'm actually qualified for, though. I mean, all the guidance I can ever remember on the subject assumed 'Heir Apparent to the Dark Lord's Number Two' was my only viable career option, really. Perhaps I should set up as a consultant, pointing out the great glaring clangers in would-be Evil Overlords' cunning plans. Soul destroying work, but someone's got to do it."

Skuka, Holod i Granit [Babylon 5, Ivanova/Marcus(ish)] by not jenny
My favourite ever B5 fic - the style perfectly complements Ivanova's character and the language is the perfect reflection of her attitude to life. Amazing writing.
Later, sitting together in her quarters, they do not speak. She is drinking vodka, straight and cold and deadly. He is watching her and sticks to water. When his arm slips around her, she doesn't think to shrug it off; she is not drunk, not yet, so it is not the alcohol dictating her behaviour. They do not talk; it has been a long year, and there is no end in sight.
She is thinking about Tolstoy. About the Psi-Corps. About anything but the feel of him, next to her.
("This will all end badly," she reminds herself, "everything does. 'And again hope and despair, alternately chafing the old sores, lacerated the wounds of her tortured and violently fluttering heart.' Oh, yes, this will all end very badly.")

Ten Nonlinear Moves [NCIS, Gen] by sequiturfic
I know I did an immediate excitement-fuelled rec of this when I read it, and I also recced it on crack_van, but hey, I'm sure there are still a few people who haven't read it... In the hiatus when Gibbs is off building hot tubs, Tony has to take charge of the team. Beautifully written and structured, and very well characterised, whilst being vee funny, as the only the best NCIS team fic can be.
The motto is not always WWGD. WWGD is brought out at half-time when the center just sprained his ankle and the other team has that one guy who has to be at least seven feet tall. Most of the time, Tony gets by on various second-string techniques.

Green Ice [LPW/Jeeves & Wooster, Gen] by adina_atl
One of the most intriguing crossovers I've ever read, this tells the story of Lord Peter Wimsey's first ever case (the Attenbury emeralds), which happens to require a visit to Market Snodsbury. Brilliantly written, and the most fascinating characterisation ever of Bertie Wooster. I recommend this unreservedly.
The second bird was not overly tall, with hair the colour of corn silk, arrayed in the outer crust of a gentleman in a style Jeeves could not but approve. It was the monocle screwed into his left eye that fired the old brain cells, however. "Flim! Flim Wimsey! I say, it's been a few years, what?"

life, the universe and everything [SGA, Sheppard/McKay]
Parallel universe where John is Joanne and she and Rodney have a child... who finds her way to our universe.
Here’s the thing, the diary begins, a familiar spidery scrawl that spans several hundred pages, I never meant to get Sheppard pregnant.

The Subway [Narnia, Gen] by DJ Caligula
A story about Susan, post series. It's odd and a little freaky and very, very satisfying.
Susan gaped - and although her skin crawled in horror - her mind did indeed flicker back on the games that she and her siblings used to play, a long time ago. Games with kings, and queens, and centaurs and mermaids and fauns and cruel Eastern princes. God-like lions and villainous giants; unspeakably ancient cities, harsh deserts, icy northern peaks. Susan used to make maps, because she was clever at things like that, and with colored pencils and paper, she was able to create whole worlds, where forests were marked carefully with green, oceans had beasties springing out the depths, and southern cities had minarets and gates straight out of National Geographic. It had been jolly good fun, for a while, and it had helped pass the time, after they had been relocated to the countryside while London was being bombed by the Nazis.

Jizzy Chrizzy, I'm writing Part Two of my Star Trek high school AU (really, I just like having the opportunity to type those delightful words) and it's like getting blood from a stone. I know what I want to write, it's just taking so long!! Thought I would take a little break and do a random fly-by post.

So, what's up with the Squeen? you ask. Meh. Not much. I'm still in my pyjamas, but I just had some cocopops, so yum. Also, am planning spag bol for dinner. Today I was also planning to be domestic, and since katie__pillar and klo_the_hobbit have gone off to Kingston, I have the opportunity to tidy up etc, but, um, no. I'm just sitting around writing fic and listening to Kid Beyond's I Shall Be Free (OMG I love that song) over and over again.

Yesterday, I eventually got dressed and went over to Lee to see the Brownies' exhibition, which was vee nice - good to see my chums but also to have the Brownies take me round it, because Brownies are never not hilarious. Had an OMG THIS IS HOW YOU CAN TELL THE WORLD HATES ME GIANT TRAUMA over some potatoes in Sainsbury's (over £2 for about three potatoes WTF WTF?). xanantha and I had a good deal of squee over going to see Arcadia in a fortnight (ARCADIA! ARCADIA FTW!), I fought pim2005 over a balloon (again) and had a disproportionate number of leg battles with katherinea. Also made a tiny social faux pas. I also redesigned my LJ - woo. Quite pleased with the end result. LOOK AT MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR etc etc, though hopefully will not become pair of legs in lonely desert.

Ho hum. Should get back to my fic. I am on the final stretch, and I am determined to finish it today. STAR TREK HIGH SCHOOL AU FTW!!

ETA: Oh yes, I meant to link to this from Jezebel: This is your life RomCom style. It would be funnier if it weren't depressingly true. I love being a woman but it is weird sometimes.

Woo. Part Two of my Star Trek XI recs post. Are you excited? I'm excited.

Pressing the Point by jedibuttercup
After the events of the film, Pike has a conversation with Kirk. I really love Pike's insights into Kirk - through him, we can see how Kirk has matured (which, you may notice, is a theme I favour).
Pike clears his throat. As entertaining as this conversation is, it's not why he requested Kirk's presence, and if the young man has to stand there awhile feeling the consequences of a day's worth of picking fights with opponents stronger than himself, so much the better. Maybe it'll give him a little more perspective.

Chaotic Systems by eponymous_rose
This was the conversation I wanted in the film: McCoy and Spock Prime. Lovely.
"My friend Jim's got problems of his own," says McCoy. "They're either going to lynch him or promote him, and I'm not sure which would be the more dangerous proposition." He shrugs. "But that's Jim Kirk for you - had to go and save us all, just to prove he could. Him and that green-blooded sonuvabitch."
The Vulcan beside him chokes on his water, and McCoy's nearly ready to attempt his first-ever cross-species Heimlich by the time he catches his breath. "My apologies," he wheezes. "I believe I should pay closer attention when I drink at my age."

To Boldly Go by ninamonkey
How McCoy ended up enlisting in Starfleet.
McCoy squinted at the sun, not even sure what the hell day it was. Or what month it was. He had a few credits left to his name, but not a hell of a choice when it came to living. He could've psychoanalyzed himself; he was still in shock, maybe. Or he would be, if he didn't keep anesthetizing himself to prevent himself from feeling anything at all.

Iowa by misfit_fandoms
Kirk's stepfather is usually shown as being a cock, but here, he's still irritable and frustrated with Jim, but he cares. I really liked this.
“You can do better than this,” he finishes. Shit, the kid's sucked all the fight out of him, and he hasn't even opened his fucking mouth. After a long moment of silence, he shakes his head. “Just go to your room, okay? Go.”

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing by hjpatience
The things Kirk knows, the things he doesn't know (despite, um, knowing them) and the things he doesn't want to know. A great look at the whole lot of them.
He doesn’t know about the euphemistically named “solvent production facility” that Scotty has set up in a storage room off desk 6. He has absolutely no idea where the forty percent proof booze came from that had the usually reserved Nurse Chapel dancing with Chekov at the last impromptu it-was-a-total-disaster-but-we’re-not-dead-yet-so-let’s-celebrate-the-end-of-the-mission party. It’s just one of those things.

Candle by igrockspock
Yes, I'm all about the gen, but this is Spock/Uhura, and it's so delightful! Spock is so precise in his courtship, and yet romance is still in him.
Now he is ready for his final task: learning to cook her favorite meal. He believes this task will take 2 to 4 weeks, not very long in comparison to how to 6.2 months he has already required to identify his feelings and resolve to act on them. It is, however, potentially long enough for her resistance to Cadet Kirk to crumble. He resolves to learn to cook a bit faster.

a fucking space opera by oxoniensis
...or six characters who didn't board the USS Enterprise. Cracky crossover joy. (With bonus S.E.T.)
Winchester grins, and Jim's suddenly taken back years, racing his borrowed car off the edge of a cliff, the sheer joy of speed like he'd never felt before. It's all on Winchester's face. For all his posturing and scars, he looks like a kid. "Nah, warp 6," he says proudly. "I installed a tetryon plasma drive system last year."

But Not Jim Kirk by jedibuttercup
Again, this is looking at how Kirk has matured over the course of the film's events, by looking at his earlier relationship with Gary Mitchell. One of the reasons I like it, other than the excellent characterisation of New!Kirk, is the references to TOS-esque things. Very nicely done.
"How do I ever get myself into anything?" Jim parried, with a wan attempt at his usual smirk. "Don't go getting all jealous on me, though. I don't even know if they're going to lock me up or commend me when we get back; Pike's talking promotion, but who the hell even knows."



Also, bonus fan comic here, another bit of fan art (so cute!), and anything by turntap2 here.

[Error: unknown template qotd]

Rapunzel. I can't begin to imagine why.

(It totally, totally was. Maybe that explains a lot.)

And on that note, allow me, please, to share Sara Bareilles' wonderful song, Fairytale, as introduced to my by katie__pillar (I understand it was on a J2 mixtape! *g*):

( Cut to make things tidy. )