"I bitch-slapped Riker like a Klingon targ..."

♥ Getting high on a sharpie. Oh yes. That’s the way to live.

♥ I wish, in rainy weather, people would keep a better eye on where the ends of their umbrellas are heading. Got poked in the leg by one man at Waterloo, and a man on the train would have lost an eye were he not wearing glasses.

♥ Watched the end of S&S last night, which was very jolly. Eleanor and Edward together – who would’ve thought?

♥ Been hugely productive at work recently but due to general emotional turmoil today, less so. Nonetheless, been doing a bit of database genius, which is always a plan.

♥ There’s nothing like a nice bit of salad with Bits for lunch. Also, I think Louise just brought some olives in, so might go and snaffle a couple to add.

♥ The current batch of apple and pear compote really is Very Nice Indeed – nicer than the other, I think.

♥ Did some laundry last night, including both pairs of jeans which were MUD-CAKED on account of striking resemblance between station path and the Somme at the moment. Have decided jeans are a bad plan to wear to work, due to mud, and so today went off with a bottom-half, at least, which bore the eerie look of an Edwardian kitchen maid: giant boots, tights, and a mid-length slightly flouncy black skirt. Effect ruined on top half by my donning a hoody and a cag. (Needless to say, am slightly disappointed by this.)

♥ NCIS was on last night!!! Hurrah for new TV!

♥ Cousin’s 20th birthday yesterday. This is quite clearly NOT POSSIBLE and in fact an affront to Time.

Oh, darlings. *sad face*

I bring you grave news from the Love Nest. Plan C, that summum bonum of our dieting plans, has suffered a dreadful blow. Giant rows, surely, the stuff of babes? I have had many. But there has been a setback. Viz, ridiculous level of hysteria in FT kitchen. I think it *may* have started when I claimed that demanding a plaster for my earlier plastic cut (damn you, creme fraiche lid, damn you!) would be Making A Fuss Over Nothing. Katie, for some reason, found this hilarious, almost as if I had been whinging about it all evening, which I can assure you is far from being the case. Then I claimed to be the very personification of stoicism, which was, apparently, taking things One Step Too Far. It gets confusing after that. There was some humour engendered by my attempt to use the handblender on a pot of rhubarb and apple almost-compote. Also the word "akimbo" (use of which caused me to actually bounce with excitement. Literal bouncing. None of your poxy, second-rate, cut-price metaphorical bouncing). Also the striking similarity in colour between the rhubarb compote and the washing up gloves. Also the ludicrous extent of our middle-class-ness as exemplified by our plastic fort of fake!tupperware.

Prior to this I had a vitamin pill and half a petit ecolier.

Afterwards, I made my lunch for tomorrow.

Just so you know.