i quite like it. as someone further up said, you've got the WW voice down. i think the only weak point is the very last paragraph starting with, "He pointed at each of the others....". the cranky feels a hair forced, and you already have him issuing those same orders earlier. i'd maybe go from, "...a cadet who can deal with it?" right to, "Tell the press...."
of course, it's imho of course, but it's the only piece i wasn't utterly in love with.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-25 12:35 am (UTC)of course, it's imho of course, but it's the only piece i wasn't utterly in love with.
really well done!
edited for formatting typos