Diary of a Suburban Squeen

Our kitchen has been invaded. Yes, you heard aright. Invaded. But don't worry, this is not the long-anticipated apocalypse. The invader in this instance is The Vegetable. Ah, I see you, glancing hither and thither, wondering to what I could possibly be referring. A few people in the back exchange confused whispers.

The Vegetable is a beast. Easily as big as MY ENTIRE BODY (or, OK, my arm - no, wait, bigger than that), it is a looming, hulking green monster. (Not the actual Hulk, of course. That was something else entirely). Anyway, yes. Giant courgette (zucchini)/marrow in our kitchen, courtesy of chez King. Katie plans to make courgette pasta out of it tomorrow.

So, yes, we went to Kathye's BBQ on Saturday, which was vee enjoyable, though there was a bit of drizzle whilst we were attempting to embrace the BBQ concept, but I'd stolen a chair under the umbrella very early on in the proceedings and was personally absolutely fine, so that was all that mattered, really. Anyway, then I couldn't be arsed to leave, so stayed overnight. We watched Hannah Montana (class) and Coyote Ugly (OMG IT'S SO STUPID AND I DON'T EVEN CARE I FUCKING LOVE IT). Sunday morning, I watched a bizarre video with the girls about how everyone in the world loves Mickey Mouse. Slightly freaky. Hannah loves Mickey, and also goes 'quack' for Donald Duck, which was quite adorable. Also, she got really invested in the cartoons, and was all *arms up* when it looked like something bad might happen (hilarious because, y'know, Mickey Mouse, but I guess when you're two you don't quite understand that traditionally short kids' Disney cartoons are unlikely to end badly). And then Mummy and Tatie left and we had lunch, and then I went home too. Via, as it happens, Waitrose, where I bought a load of fruit to make crumble (gooseberries, raspberries, nectarines, apples and pears - yum) and milk and cheese so I could embrace the ongoing wonder that is tuna lentil spectacular.

In other news:

♥ I have painted my nails with my very favourite Christian Dior nail varnish. Except someone, pray, explain to me why I insist on doing this right before I go to bed?

♥ I finally got round to posting The Lost Expedition to Wraithbait.

♥ I failed to finish my next village!verse fic, because I apparently can't get past the second section - boo!

♥ We watched two more episodes of Chuck.

♥ I received and read #25 and #26 of Buffy Season 8. #27 comes out on Wednesday, so woo. Have also ordered Madame Xanadu vol 1 and Ex Machina vol 3. And at some point I need to read Powers vols 9 and 10, because I've had them for ages. Also, I am totally behind with Fables since the Great Fables Crossover, so I might just wait for the trade(s). And Katie gave me the single issues of vol 2 of Umbrella Academy to read, which I keep forgetting.

♥ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS - HUZZAH!!!

♥ I am currently reading This Little Britain (How One Small Country Built the Modern World) by Harry Bingham, which actually has a giant sticker graphic on the front with the Mail on Sunday singing its praises that, had I noticed it, would probably have made me not buy the book. And it's an odd read. I don't know if it's fundamentally an English thing, to be so reluctant to concede one's successes and yet simultaneously TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT IT'S ALL TRUE AND ONE IS TOTALLY ROCKING AWESOME, but that's sort of my reaction to the book. In parts it does feel like some Telegraph or Mail editorial about how everyone always moans about Britain being shit when SECRETLY OMG WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE GOOD STUFF IN THE WORLD LIEK WOAH and makes no bones about being anything other than a history/miscellany of 'British exceptionalism', but in other parts it's more self-deprecating and aware of our shortcomings as a nation. Anyway, I was reading it till half-midnight last night, so I must be enjoying it a bit.

♥ I have also started the first book in my LJ Smith omnibus, which I bought in the Waterstones 3-for-2 with the above (and a Stella Gibbons book I hadn't read, which, come to think of it, makes it sounds like I've read loads of hers and not, as the case happens to be, just Cold Comfort Farm (so awesome)). I blame this ENTIRELY on ungratefulwench - not that she's ever actually recommended them or anything, but because she's had fanlistings etc since forever, and my curiosity finally grew to a head.

♥ I should go to bed now. I am sleepy.

♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, megaleena!!

♥ I have just eaten so much squash risotto I may well turn into a giant grain of starchy rice. Think of me fondly, darlings.

♥ I was supposed to draw Rob's leaving present this evening but I HAVE NOT DONE IT! Am vee bad and Venom will scold me tomorrow.

♥ LOL the Go Fug Yourself girls discovered Shooting Stars and were much confused.

♥ xanantha, I have given Katie a cheque for tomorrow.

♥ Katie and I are going to see Ben in Orpheus in the Underworld at the Holland Park Opera on Sunday - vee, vee civilised. I foresee the wearing of dresses.

♥ I have discovered that just the music for The West Wing makes me happy.

♥ I made apple sauce last night and heat sealed it into a jar and everything. We had sausage and mash for dinner, and I added some apple sauce, and the combination was delightful.

♥ Have been watching an anime version of Daddy-Long-Legs. A tad bizarre.

♥ Grandma's latest plan: to go into business providing sound effects for the BBC. Who are we to argue?

♥ This evening, Katie and I switched our gas and electricity to one supplier that will save us lots of money - woo! Crucially, we have been proactive and sensible and adult. Go us.

♥ Spin ris for tea - yum. You're never alone with a bit of spin ris.

♥ In the course of writing fic, I have learnt new things. Angola, on the south west coast of Africa, was a Portuguese territory between the c16th and 1975. "Mitochondrial Eve" is the theoretical most recent common matrilineal ancestor of humans today, and is believed to date to anywhere between 50,000 and 215,000 years ago. "Y-chromosomal Adam" is the theoretical most recent common patrilineal ancestor of all Y-chromosome humans today, and is believed to date to about 60,000 to 90,000 years ago.

♥ Ha. We're watching Green Wing. SO MADE OF WIN!

♥ I realised today that I had made an incorrect mental note about when we're going to see Arcadia. It's on Monday! Woo! So excited!

♥ We just had two giant monster flying beetles in the living room. Freakish. They were like tiny insect Zeppelins.

♥ FFS there's nothing as annoying as old-school fans who get pissy at those damned new like-the-shallow-pretty-boys newbie fans and their Kirk/Spock porn. I'm sorry, what? Do you recognise your fandom?


ETA - Also, does anyone happen to have my S3 DVDs of The West Wing? Or S1 of Supernatural?

Ooh, I'm feeling all domestic... have just made some tabbouleh up for lunch tomorrow and made the pastry for mini quiche (when are mini quiche not hilarious? Never, that's when) and now I'm going to put some bread on and make chocolate and raspberry cupcakes - yum. Mm. Cake. Should probably make dinner at some point, and hang out my laundry. Also, guess what? You never will so I'll tell you: I washed up on Wednesday night. Woo. Go me.

On the way home (a remarkably straightforward journey, under the circs), I was reading an abandoned thelondonpaper, and it had a review of Arcadia (5 stars - I have high hopes now) which was just perfect, and I AM SO SO EXCITED ABOUT GOING BECAUSE IT'S MY FAVOURITE PLAY EVER EVER EVER AND TOM STOPPARD IS A TINY PLAYWRITING GENIUS and also I didn't realise it was Neil Pearson as Bernard, which I suspect might also be perfect. TWO WEEKS ON MONDAY IS NOT SOON ENOUGH!!!

Also, I had a letter back today from SOUTH WEST TRAINS MY EVIL NEMESIS** about the whole Barnes Bridge/Staines contretemps, which kindly included credit vouchers, but which entirely managed to miss the point of my letter and made it into a complaint about THE ONE THING I SAID I WAS EXPRESSLY NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT. FFS. No, South West Trains, just because it's easier to reply to a complaint about rude staff members does not mean that you get to pretend that was the point of my letter and not a fundamental flaw in your logistical planning, and hope that I won't pursue it. I love writing these letters, South West Trains, and I will PURSUE THE MATTER TO THE BITTER END.


* Disclaimer: I totally wouldn't do that.

** Yeah. They're so getting tagged like that.

Ooh, I'm making a lovely bit of bol. Highly optimistic.

In other news, I'm listening to Tom Lehrer and learning all about the Mormons. My "staycation" has been ace so far!

♥ OMG STAR TREK! STAR TREK TONIGHT! I AM SO EXCITED!!

♥ So, other than a brief cri de coeur over OTH, I have lots of update-y things. Well, not lots. A number of update-y things. Starting with Grandad’s funeral. Don’t worry: I exhausted my descriptive powers by going on at length on the subject to both Katie and Emma, so they have basically taken the bullet for you. Suffice it to say, it was actually as lovely a day as it could have been. The weather was beautiful, which I think put everyone in a nice mood. Grandma coped OK with the whole thing – as did we all, in fact. I read my pome without a hitch. The chapel was absolutely crammed – standing room only, in fact – and it was really nice to see so many people turn out for Grandad, including a load of care workers and district nurses etc, which Grandma was very touched by. Chris and I weren’t that taken with the padre, but Grandma, Mummy and Rosie really liked him, which was the main thing. And Alan Gildersleve (an old pal and medical colleague) did the eulogy thing which was funny and sweet and just right for Grandad. So it was all quite nice, actually. And then the parentals took me out to Ashford in the Water for a rather spiffing pub dinner, so all in all, a good day. Thank you to everyone who sent sympathy and good wishes etc – it was very much appreciated.

♥ I invented another new meal last night, which I am calling Pesto Primavera. Onion, leek, broccoli, spinach and peas cooked in a ricotta/mascarpone and pesto sauce. Vee spring-like and delicious (I thought). The other night I made savoury pancakes with chicken and leek, which was so-so (needed more flavour, I think).

♥ There have been various annoying things in the press recently, about which I have got quite irate, but I can’t remember them now, so you are spared a tiny rant.

♥ I am wearing my Spock t-shirt today. Not right now, of course. No, I’m currently wearing one of my mauve monstrosities. But out of hours – bring it on. “You Are Sooooooo Illogical” – present genius, Katie, my darling!

♥ I still haven’t finished Gossip Girl 1899 vol 2 – I am so slow with reading at the moment! I have loads of stuff to read and am just not getting round to it. I have a week off soon, though, so I might catch up then.

♥ Oh, yes, I remember now. Was reading the Daily Telegraph’s letters page over someone’s shoulder this morning. The first letter was someone frothing with rage over the latest parliamentary scandal, and they did that FUCK ANNOYING THING of being “ooh and our unelected Prime Minister…” OMG WILL THESE PEOPLE PLEASE GET A GRIP AND DEVELOP SOME AWARENESS OF THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION!! Rawr.

♥ My main sustenance during the last couple of days has been party rings and polos. THEY BOTH HAVE HOLES IN! It’s awesome.

♥ Finally wrote my Blackadder/SGA fic – woo! Very excited, very excited indeed!

♥ I have also drafted a FANFICTION COMIC which is a bit shit because, let’s face it, I can’t really draw, but I will re-draw it tonight, and see if I can make it work. SGA/X-Men. Mmhmm.

♥ Good news at work today, so E and I are quite happy. Did get punched for an INVALID YELLOW VEHICLE, but c’est la vie.

♥ Had a vee nice chat with weird_bird last night, so that was good. Have also conversed with balooky, who was terrorised by OMGAGIANTMOUSECOMETOKILLHER which turned out to be, um, some hair on the floor.

♥ Need to start work on learning Africa and south east Asia. Geographically speaking, these are my weak spots. Where the fuck are you, Tuvalu? Whence came Laos?

♥ I think I have eaten too many of God’s honest polos now. My mouth is beginning to taste like disinfectant.

♥ The frère is coming over for dinner tonight (theoretically). I have a plan involving pesto chicken, which first involves coming up with a recipe for pesto chicken. I will prevail.

♥ I am eating another polo anyway. TAKE THAT, GOD!

♥ E is planning on meeting up with an internet date who may or may not belong to a cult and may or may not have murdered his wife. She’s trying to be optimistic.

♥ THE SUN IS SHINING AND IT’S WARM AND THE AIR SMELLS OF LILAC AND BLOSSOM AND I LOVE EVERYONE IN THE WORLD EVEN THOUGH THE TUBE HAD A STRIKE WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE, THE FUCKERS.

Eh bien, my chickadees, the promised post. And let me begin by saying how much I fail at life at the moment. Last Saturday I was supposed to go to Megan's birthday party; on Sunday, Katherine and Helen were coming round for a planning meeting etc. Didn't do either; just sat around feeling crap and miserable. And then I was planning to go to the Taking Liberties exhibition at the British Library with people, and due to waiting in for parcel which was fated never to arrive, didn't. Boo. Anyway, trying to be better now...

Anyway, back to liberties. Well, aren't we just a bit proud of ourselves? Odd, really, given that a police officer was recently suspended for being a member of the BNP, and the Church of England has just declared that its members (I am unclear whether they mean clergy or everyone; I assume the former) cannot belong to the BNP. Let me make my viewpoint clear. I think the BNP are shit. Nevertheless, they are a valid political party and I'm sorry but you just can't tell people they can't belong to a political party!! I'm sorry, where has the concept of freedom of association gone? What's wrong with people?

So, Supernatural, eh? I've been going off it ever so slightly what with the very serious angel aspect, though it still has its joyful moments. But women. Oh, the women. Now, I don't really do meta, or proper thinking, or providing evidence or anything, but it seems to me that they can't really do women except within the narrow confines of angel and whore. Or, to expand it slightly, it's all woman as "mother" or "helpless victim wife" or "bratty younger sister-type" or "betrayer" or whatever. It's a bit shit. I think Ellen was the best they've had, and I do think Jo had potential, but other than that they're mostly just female ciphers. Or something.

Anyway, I was going to tell you about my computer. MY COMPUTER AS WHAT DIED!!!. OMG, it was so traumatic!! I didn't know how I was going to cope. It was broken for a few days, and all was grief and woe around me. Then I shook it violently and it seemed to perk up a bit, so at the moment it's working: long may it last, though I am sceptical. But it matters not, because I have the world's most bee-you-tiful tiny laptop (a Compaq Mini 700) which is gorgeous and shiny and tiny and utterly adorable, and which I am using RIGHT NOW to post this. I LOVE IT AND WANT TO HAVE TINY ROBOT BABIES WITH IT!

Otherwise: it snowed, wheee! Katie and I went and played in Richmond Park and it was just lovely. All praise South West Trains, and the buses, and the tubes and everything for being shit and not working (even though, to be fair, there was an Awful Lot of snow).

Xanthe: fan museum - woo - when would you like to go. Rest assured I know NOTHING about fans and thus will feel free to wander around talking a load of bollocks on subjects about which I know nothing. I have never believed in letting no factual knowledge get in the way of my pretensions to education... though it would be so much easier if they didn't include those damned signs with actual FACTS and suchlike to stymie my best attempts at creativity...

Heigh ho. That's about all for now. Except, ooh, on Tuesday I was at home, and I made bread and enough leek and potato soup for an army, and washed the kitchen floor, and yesterday I actually swept and mopped the bathroom. I FEEL SO PROUD.

♥ Mon dieu. I watched Atlantis' Vegas episode. How beautiful was that?! I loved it! I also love how much the Stargate franchise embraces random crack like no other. God bless them, frankly. Still have the last ep to watch, and a load from the middle of the series where it seemed to be nothing but Keller and I got bored.

♥ Sun! We had sun! Albeit for about three seconds, but sun nonetheless. Naturally it has gone away now and it's cold and grey and I think it may have rained for a while, but whatever.

♥ After yesterday's cooking frenzy, I intend to abandon the kitchen to its own devices, though I did a spot of washing up and cleaned out the fridge a tiny bit. Ideally I'd like to make some lemon curd for our own consumption, but we'll see if I get around to it. Katie's making fish pie for dinner - yum.

♥ I thought I would round off Katie's photographic catalogue of the Fangirl Towers book collection by bringing you the remainder of our bookshelves:

( Photos! )

Happy New Year to you all, my darlings! Hope 2009 brings sweetness and light and prawn toast to everyone! Unless you’re allergic to shellfish. I’m not a monster.

Anyhow, Christmas and New Year, eh? Well, that was fun. Thank you very much to everyone for my presents – they are all ace. Also, had a party just before Christmas which was also ace, so thanks to everyone who came to that and ATE ALL OUR FOOD! ALL OF IT! though it was as well, what with our biffing off to Sheffield the following day. Had some parental Christmas time. Went out to dinner on Christmas Eve with parents and Chris and Bex, which was vee nice. They had fake snow outside the restaurant (nicer than it sounds), about which my mother became unnecessarily excited. Had a slightly random Christmas day, what with Grandad still being in hospital and all, but it weren’t too bad, all things considered. Drew a C21st Justice & 6-Eyed Girl cartoon for my parents, featuring ‘Stone Woman’, ‘Kryptonian Dad’ and ‘Captain Puniverse’ (my brother’s longstanding alter ego). Mother also extremely excited about that. Also the Bagpuss mouse that sang. I rock.

So, enough of Christmas. New Year. Well, meh. I rather bar New Year, but whatever, it’s time off work. Katie and I pottered and then klo_the_hobbit came over and we watched some beautifully awful stuff. Ah, Freejack: film choice of the gods.

In other news, have used the bread machine quite a lot. I made more soup (a giant surprise there, surely). Also, ooh, excitingly, made CHOCOLATE-COATED PRETZELS!!!! Can there be anything finer? I think not! And I made some tomato and mascarpone sauce for our tea last night, but that’s rather less newsworthy.

Latest TV news: Big Fat Quiz of the Year was joyous as ever (though has yet to reach the dizzy heights of the Goth Detectives year). Jimmy Carr was looking bizarrely skinny. Made (not that it exactly took a lot of effort) Katie watch Leverage. How inconceivably gorgeous is that show? It’s so ridiculous and yet so adorable. I love team shows – it’s what makes NCIS such a thing of glory. <3 <3 <3

Cookery Book: Bread and Bread Machines
Provenance: Random purchase at the NT shop at Ham House
Picture Level: Pretty darned good, actually. Pictures for everything.

Recipe: Pesto marbled bread
Ingredients: Pesto, flour, milk, salt, sugar, yeast, water
Why Chosen: Well, we’ve got this jar of pesto in the fridge and I was making Italian…
Outcome: Not so bad, not so bad. Or, um, quite nice actually. Will probably make occasionally.
Mess Created: Minimal – ha! (Or I may have made a giant mess and not really noticed. It’s, uh, hard to remember sometimes.)