chaletian: (blackadder pants)
Thing the first: I have somehow managed to plot a 12-book school series allegedly written by Josephine M. Bettany, and then get super invested in the characters. I will be sharing this extensively. I cannot lie.

Thing the second: Remember this time last year, when I was obsessively posting and filling prompts at the Awesome Ladies Ficathon? I have (embarrassingly) only just got round to listening to a podfic that [ profile] podklb made of my Alice Longbottom fic, blow me bluebell bubbles, that I wrote for a Harry Potter prompt. The podfic is here (download here), and it is SUPERBLY read. Please do listen, because she did a truly smashing job.

Thing the third: Nellie, darling, remember that Bones vid I was going to show you in Dorset, only to be scuppered by the failiness of our internet? This is it. BEST BONES VID EVER.

chaletian: (tww big bird)
Katie and I are off to see 2D Thor this afternoon, which I am quite excited about, but I have lost our Odeon Premiere card, which means having to actually pay for tickets. Boo swizz. Very annoyed with myself.

In other news, the mater came to visit for the weekend, which was nice. On Saturday we went for breakfast at ye olde Orange Pekoe and then she took us out for lunch at Annie's (always pleasant, and we sat in the back in the garden and the sun shone all over us and we ate ice cream). Also on Saturday, Doctor Who! Oh, Rory! I love Rory. I love them all, but mostly Rory. And then, miraculously, I managed to write my remix, which kind of skirts the definition of remix and heads into sequel territory... I dunno. I'm quite pleased with it, though.

On Sunday, we made a picnic, and went to Polesden Lacey, near Dorking, which was just glorious - perfect weather, and a beautiful NT lark - you can't go wrong. And I bought a bee tea towel. Then we came home and watched Doctor Who again, and then the library episodes again (oh, River). (In re that, I can't see why they can't just get her out of the library computer again.) Then tea. Then Lewis. Then bed. Good times.
chaletian: (star trek ants)
So, peeps, here's the thing: I want to write some fic, not having written any for a little while, but I find myself devoid of the demon inspiration. So I thought I'd have a little drabble challenge.

Thus, please suggest a fandom, character (and topic/quote/other character/vague scenario/just any kind of prompt for the love of esmerelda!), and I will try and write a little fic. Don't be shy! I can write any fandom I've written before (check out the fic tag if you're not sure), and am open to writing anything for TV shows/films/books/stuff I enjoy.

Please do suggest something - I really miss writing!
chaletian: (buffy british summer)
I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVEN'T LJED IN SO LONG! I am genuinely shocked by my own lacksadaisical approach at telling you about what I've been doing. SHOCKED. GENUINELY. So, in the seven minutes available before the Lego Head Man lets out his traditional plaintive cry that dinner (in today's case, chicken cacciatore à la Nigella - tasty tasty) is ready to be fettled, I shall update you.

This is, of course, hampered by the fact that I can't remember what I've been doing.

♥ WEDDING! Jess got married to Douglas in the darkest depths of Gloucestershire, and I, along with Katie, Pim and Katherine, went to watch. It was really nice, and we saw various people, and Megan and Hannah were bridesmaids and supercute (they went off rollicking on the grass at the reception place and in their white dresses and Megan's hair up like a little C17th girl, they did look like they belonged in a timeslip story). So, wedding was good, speeches were very good (Jess, I love you and your mother forever for both doing one), realising that the Kate and Fliss I'd been talking were in fact [ profile] chiasmata (well, Kate was), which fact apparently everyone else knew, was VERY EMBARRASSING but tant pis. Plus Travelodge/Little Chef hilarity, SO MANY TAXIS, and CELIA IMRIE being awesome. A good weekend.

♥ Our balcony garden is not yet dead. I know. We're amazed too. In fact, it's thriving: herbs are merrily growing away, we have tiny green strawberries, and our tomato plants are AS TALL AS THE SKY*. There has been a lot of watering, and also spraying of the mint with washing up liquid, as it has traumatically become infested with greenfly. Boofaces. Still, the washing up liquid is doing its promised job (god save Katie and her arcane childhood knowledge), so all is not lost.

♥ I feel I should let everyone know that, when the apocalypse comes, FT can survive for a month or so on baked beans, orange juice and yogurt. But I cannot share this information without attaching a grave warning: don't, when you find yourselves stumbling along the Strand, dodging zombies and trying to scavenge ginger nut biscuits from the bin (I'm looking at you, Helen: I know your tendancies), attempt to breach the barricade of 22 The bally old W. We will react strongly and sternly, and you will find yourself tumbling back down the stairs with the tiny remnant of a hacksaw sticking out of your eye.

♥ So, about that tiny remnant of a hacksaw. We bought a garden cane to be a curtain pole for the balcony door. So far, so good. But we knew it would be too long, so we bought a little hacksaw to cut it down to size. "Hmm," said Katie dubiously, "a hacksaw won't actually saw through wood." "La," said I, ever the optimist, "it will be fine." Came the day, came the garden cane/hacksaw attempt. Which lasted approximately three seconds, up to the point that the hacksaw blade snapped into three. "Ho hum," said I, and began my attempt to saw through a garden cane using the aforementioned tiny remnant of a hacksaw. It was about two inches long. My progress was not inspiring. After a while, Katie came to see what havoc I was causing. After putting newspaper down in a bid to stop me getting sawdust everywhere, she attached herself to one end of the tiny two-inch hacksaw blade remnant. I maintained my grip on the other end. Together, in a thrilling display of teamwork, we sawed that fucker in half. Oh, how we chuckled - near insensate with mirth, we were, and then I said (hilariously, I think we can all agree), "And then they realised they were punching a baboon!" which led to more laughter. Good times, readers, good times.**

♥ In other news, I cracked open my sewing machine, and hemmed the curtain that is to go on the hacksawed garden cane. I also made a top (rough draft with not-so-great material), which needs some work before I make it with proper material. But it's fun to be sewing again - I haven't really for ages (except for curtains etc when we moved in).

♥ Also, I have done other things with my time. I did the Remix Redux challenge, which was quite exciting because I've never done a proper challenge before. Maybe this will be the year I actually sign up for Yuletide! I wrote a Merlin fic which I quite liked in the end, so I will post that here soon.

♥ In other fanfictional news: Chalet School. Zombies. Coming soon to an LJ near you.

♥ Anyway, returning to the previous point. Other stuff. Katie and I went to see Iron Man 2, which I loved because RDJ is the king of ace. We went to a party at Nellie Dean's new house, which was vee nice. Also nice: the gather, the highlight of which was undoubtedly drinking many cocktails (and stealing bits of Kathryn's kumquat liqueur-themed ones) and trying to sing along to Joseph without Helen changing the playlist. After the gather we went to Ikea, and Katie and I bought things we needed without going crazy (the ultimate Ikea challenge). TRAGICALLY AND INEXPLICABLY the Swedish shop did not provide us with salmon paste. We are confused and desolate, just as if a treasured chum had kicked us in our lady bits.

♥ I have become indoctrinated into Criminal Minds. OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW. I love everything about it. I love how the nice people at the beginning don't happen upon a grisly corpse, thereby setting in train the events of the episode. Oh no. They are the grisly corpse(s) setting in train the events of the episode. Also, Garcia is so rocking awesome. And Spencer Reid is made of love. And Jane Lynch may be the most superdooper thing ever. And Hotch is so stern and so adorable, and Morgan is just so stalwart. Anyway. Love.

♥ People should read this fic: Bredon in Narnia - The White Witch tries to tempt a child of Peter and Harriet and fails utterly. As, of course, she would. Also Rain Check - An investigation takes Hotch into Harvelle's Roadhouse. Because it's so just who Hotch and Ellen are.

♥ So, there you are. The last month or so of a squeenly life. I clearly haven't written this is the seven minutes before the Lego Head Man let out his plaintive cry. I have now nearly finished both my dinner and my yellow milk. And so I bid you adieu.

xoxo, Suburban Squeen ***

* Or about two feet tall, depending on how you view the situation.
** Which no one will appreciate, because no one ever does appreciate our hijinks. :-(
chaletian: (st awesome jim)
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I am sure this will come to a massive shock to everyone, but I don't really believe in censoring reading for kids by the time they hit high school age (particularly American high school age, which I imagine this questions means, and which I think I am right in saying is about 14?). Partly this is the voice of experience - I never really had my reading censored (I started borrowing books from the adult section when I was 11/12), and I don't think I suffered in any way for that. I read what I wanted to, what I was interested in, and that worked for me. Occasionally, I read stuff from my grandparents' top shelf, which was 'racier' than stuff I got at home (but we're talking Jeffrey Archer/Harold Robbins racy here). I read teen and adult books that talked about sex and stuff, and that didn't faze me particularly. I don't know, I think adults can get extremely precious about "protecting the children", which by 14 or so is a bit absurd, because children can actually decide for themselves what they want to read.

Anyway, in other news, I'm selling my soul (or, OK, GGBP books) on eBay if anyone's interested. Buy stuff from me! This time, it's an aid of going out next week for my work leaving thing. Because next week is my last week! Thank fuck! I've mostly enjoyed this job, it has to be said. I like (most) of the people I've worked with, the job itself has been often tedious but occasionally interesting and challenging, and I've had to learn stuff, which is always a bonus. I think I'm a better administrator than I was when I started. So, y'know, progress is good. On the other hand, they screwed me over a bit and the uniform made me want to kill myself, and the challenge is mostly gone, so I'm glad I'm leaving. Looking forward to the next job, too! I've got three weeks of that (well, two and a bit, plus the fun of NHS induction), and then two weeks of holiday, which I am really looking forward to - I do need the break.

I've been stressing quite a lot recently: largely because of work, and also because of my ongoing inability to budget my money effectively. So, I apologise to my chums who've had me ringing them up expressly to rant about work, and then adding some feeble request about their own lives! I am going to try and chill out and not obsess over being slighted by HCA and enjoy life and be sensible. A fine plan. Let's see if I can stick to it.

In fanfictional news (fascinating for everyone), I have embarked upon my long planned Merlin fic on the old rex quondam rexque futurus theme. I do, of course, use the word "planned" loosely: I had a vague idea, wrote the first part, and now find myself trying to actually plan the rest of the story. I sort of know what's going to happen. IT WILL BE FINE. In other fanfictional news, I wrote Dean and Jo and internet porn, pimped it, and then (this is unheard of), DEPIMPED IT. Yes. You heard aright. I depimped a fic. It wasn't right, and I will probably rewrite it. I've also read a load of fic recently, and will rec the good stuff shortly. I also need to get cracking on the SGA bigbang. Also, I am, once again, regretting that sign ups for Yuletide passed me by. Every year I think I'd like to do Yuletide, because there are loads of small fandoms I love and would be happy to write in, but I never do anything about it. I suck.

Small break there: I went to fetch my dinner. I'm eating parsnips. Yum. I have to take total parsnip responsibility in Fangirl Towers, as Katie doesn't like them, but that's fine by me, as I am heavily pro-parsnip. You're never alone with a parsnip, I always say. I am also wearing leggings. I look fucking absurd, but who cares? I am alone. (I interrupt this fashion update to inform you that I put a little honey on my parsnips when I cooked them, and they smell delicious. I AM A PARSNIP GENIUS.)

So, what other news do I have? I went up to Sheffield last weekend to visit Grandma, which was very nice. She's mad as ever, but it was lovely to see her (and Rosie, and my parents), even if it was quite a fleeting visit, most of which seemed to be taken up with preparing meals. But we had a jolly time nonetheless, and it's not so long to Christmas, really. Journey both ways was hideous though. There must have been some sort of M1 hoohah on the Saturday morning, because the driver came off just south of Derby and toured the back streets of Derbyshire AS IF THE COACH WERE CROSSING MOLASSES IN JANUARY. Jizzy Chrizzy, I thought my bottom would fall off by the time we finally crept towards Meadowhead. And, natch, M1 into London on Sunday evening was foul. I swear to god I'm getting the train at Christmas...

Anyway, there's my news for the time being. I'm off to read a Mills & Boon set in the Norman Conquest. Good times...
chaletian: (p+p mr collins shelves)
OH MY GOD, WHY AM I ALWAYS SO STUPID? WHY? I need to be in bed and asleep now because of getting up at some godawful hour tomorrow to go to Sheffield pour visiter la grandmère, except there's an awful lot of faffing going on, and we watched Bones and Supernatural when Katie got back from Brownies. Firstly, can someone please to be explaining to me a spoilery thing )? I do not understand. Also, I want to write fic RIGHT NOW with Jo finding Dean/Jo porn online, not to mention the Merlin fic I got three-quarters of the way through today, and the Dean/Jo fic I've been messing around with for the last month or so. CAN'T SLEEP, FIC WILL EAT ME. Actually, it's more CAN'T SLEEP, WILL NOT GET UP IN TIME.

chaletian: (life dani)
Had a lovely sojourn with Katie to Greenwich Park today to see Donna. We sat in the sun and dined well on picnic food and fizzy pink wine - good times. I then abandoned them to bop around London, and came home. Now. Riddle me this, people: at what point did I think getting a bus home from Aldwych on a Saturday afternoon was a good plan. If I'd just nipped across Waterloo Bridge and got the train, I'd have been home by the time my stupid bus shuddered from a crawl to a stop at Hyde Park Corner, where I had to change because my particular No. 9 had decided not to bother going to Hammersmith. Whatevs. I got home in the end. Comedy moment: chap wearing a Captain Hammer t-shirt in Hammersmith whilst I was listening to the Dr Horrible soundtrack!

Just taking a minute to be a tiny bit sad. )

Also, the Savoy is still closed. What gives, Savoy? It's been nearly two years! How long can it possibly to take to get restored?

Also, Katie and I came up with a bit of nice SPN fic for me to write (OMG this week's ep not actually shit!!!). So I might do that this afternoon.
chaletian: (buffy british summer)
Think of me in this post, if you will, as a sort of eerie Ariel, both comic and tragic, scampering about the stage in wispy veils.

1. The Trag

(a) I got half way through an actual, proper, nailing-my-colours-to-my-shipping-mast Kirk/Rand fic, when I decided it was actually shit. Does anyone want to beta for me and tell me if it actually is shit? Anyone? Bueller?

(b) I have fucked up my back and it's really uncomfortable and I am as a cripple of old. Cath's going to have a crack at it tomorrow if rotatey stretching and anti-inflammatories haven't worked their magic. Just FYI for everyone there. I'm sure you're fascinated.

(c) Fucking tipping it down yesterday. I got soaked. Everything I was wearing got soaked. EVEN MY SOUL GOT SOAKED. This situation was made worse by the fact that, along with Kathryn and Katie, I went to see Mock the Week being filmed last night, which does of course involve waiting outside the BBC for about fifty hours whilst they prance about not letting anyone in. However...

2. The Untrag

(a) Mock the Week was highly amusing and Frankie Boyle - well, there's no delicate way to put it. Frankie Boyle mimed raping Big Bird. We're all fairly confident it's unlikely to make it to the final cut. Neither, sadly, will the trials and tribulations of Mario, Dara O'Briain's Filipino lady-boy.

(b) I am making tuna lentil spectacular for dinner tonight. Mmm. Good times.

(c) Tonight will also feature the last week's ep of Supernatural (which, of course, we are dreading a bit, due to the total Fail! of Supernatural generally - we have been contemplating, actually, starting a new LJ comm, to be named something along the lines of Come On, Ladies: One More Series, We Can Do It) and, far more excitingly, this week's One Tree Hill! OTH, people! I wonder what ridiculous randomness this series will have in store for us? Also, it's Merlin on Saturday, and next week NCIS, Bones, The Big Bang Theory and Castle all start up again, so woo!!! I ♥ TV!

chaletian: (spock canon)
Gacked from [ profile] ankaret: Give me the title of a story I've never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got posted, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I'd been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.
chaletian: (bbt nimoy dna)
Mon dieu, today is clearly being one of those days. Have been reading random bits of fic that I started writing and never finished (and found that one that I had finished - no idea why I didn't post it!!). I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that two STXI fics I started a while ago have disappeared off the memory stick I was saving them on, so boo. That's about it, really. I ordered two pairs of shoes (same style: one pair black, one red, both in the sale). I'm trying to be excited about Arcadia tonight and the bank holiday weekend, but mostly I am just DYING for today to be over. Am vee tired and bored and fed up. So let's have some random recs!

Starstruck by [ profile] pandarus [CWRPS; AU; J2]
J2 version of Notting Hill, featuring Chad Michael Murray as Himself as Spike. It's beautiful and awesome and Jared owns a comic book store.
“Fucking Twilight,” mutters Katie, apropos of nothing. Jared nods, because it's always a valid sentiment. “God, this place is dead today.” She starts fiddling absentmindedly with the reproduction sonic screw driver on the counter.
“Mind you, the werewolf guy looked kinda hot, in the trailer,” Jared adds, after a moment. They'd seen the trailer when they went to see G.I. Joe the night before. They've spent most of the morning detailing all the ways in which G.I. Joe sucked, and agreeing that they still enjoyed it, even though they know better, because there is a lot to be said for hot people and things that go fast and blow up.
Katie rolls her eyes.“You are dead to me, Padalecki. Dead.”
“I'm just saying. The guy with the dreads was cute too.”
“Look, fine, okay, I'll grant you that there's some eye candy. Blah blah blah Rpatz whateverthefuck. But, seriously – sparkly vampires? Swooning Mary Sues? Did we learn nothing from Joss Whedon?”

"Wargames" Didn't Play Out Like This by [ profile] aurora_novarum [SG-1/Leverage, Gen]
Hardison wasn't kidding when he said he'd been to Area 52. Nice crossover, with Hardison being extremely Hardison-esque.
Hardison did the only thing he could do when faced with some sort of sci-fi nightmare. He screamed bloody murder and tried to get away. Since he was handcuffed to the chair, he only succeeded in knocking himself backward onto the floor, still in a seated position.

And Today We Have Naming Of Parts by [ profile] medjai_trowa [SPN/Leverage, Gen, Wee!chesters]
John Winchester rescues a couple of kids in a diner. Young!Eliot. So sweet. I want a sequel!!
"Bit younger than mine, officer," he tells the man as the trio re-emerge from the bathroom, the two boys having traded shirts, something which goes unnoticed with their similarly coloured, equally short hair and the two officers having only caught the briefest of glances of them as they hurried off.

The Tragic, Doomed and Epic Life and Loves of Elizabeth Jean McKay by [ profile] captanddeastar [SGA, Sheppard/McKay]
Sheppard and McKay's Ancient-produced daughter has a thing for Lorne.
Lorne is the best, nicest, most handsome man in the world, because he totally ignores the big pile of awkward that she just dumped on his feet, with the blushing and the stammering and the secret doomed love. He just gives her a thumbs up, and then winks. By the time Elizabeth has recovered from her second embarrassment-induced heart attack of the evening, Lorne is gone and Daddy and J-Dad are staring at her.
"What?" she says, crossing her arms and scowling.
"That's pathetic," Daddy says, then gets the special wince that means J-Dad kicked him under the table. He gets that look a lot.

Mother Tongue by [ profile] tree_and_leaf [STXI, Amanda/Sarek, baby!Spock]
Amanda bitchslaps Vulcans WITH LOGIC and is awesome. And Sarek is hilarious.
“It seemed unreasonable to deny the child the advantage of learning Standard as a native speaker,” he said, levelly. “I speak to him in Vulcan.”
“But Standard is an easy language to master, compared with Vulcan. The average Vulcan school child is fluent in Standard by the age of ten,” said T’Larr.
“Perhaps, wife, Sarek has reason to believe that young Spock will require more intensive teaching.”
Sarek felt a sudden sympathy for his fifteen year old self. He ought not to have broken Skorr’s jaw, of course, but he had, he thought, forgotten quite how severe the provocation had been.

Count the Stars by [ profile] igrockspock [STXI, Gen]
An awesome, albeit brief, look at Number One.
Each of the stars has a name: McAdams, Chang, Seekins, Kal-bevek... She remembers the date too, and the story, what she said to their husbands and wives and parents and children on recorded subspace transmissions. She hates that the ship is always too far out for a live feed.
chaletian: (margo)
Our kitchen has been invaded. Yes, you heard aright. Invaded. But don't worry, this is not the long-anticipated apocalypse. The invader in this instance is The Vegetable. Ah, I see you, glancing hither and thither, wondering to what I could possibly be referring. A few people in the back exchange confused whispers.

The Vegetable is a beast. Easily as big as MY ENTIRE BODY (or, OK, my arm - no, wait, bigger than that), it is a looming, hulking green monster. (Not the actual Hulk, of course. That was something else entirely). Anyway, yes. Giant courgette (zucchini)/marrow in our kitchen, courtesy of chez King. Katie plans to make courgette pasta out of it tomorrow.

So, yes, we went to Kathye's BBQ on Saturday, which was vee enjoyable, though there was a bit of drizzle whilst we were attempting to embrace the BBQ concept, but I'd stolen a chair under the umbrella very early on in the proceedings and was personally absolutely fine, so that was all that mattered, really. Anyway, then I couldn't be arsed to leave, so stayed overnight. We watched Hannah Montana (class) and Coyote Ugly (OMG IT'S SO STUPID AND I DON'T EVEN CARE I FUCKING LOVE IT). Sunday morning, I watched a bizarre video with the girls about how everyone in the world loves Mickey Mouse. Slightly freaky. Hannah loves Mickey, and also goes 'quack' for Donald Duck, which was quite adorable. Also, she got really invested in the cartoons, and was all *arms up* when it looked like something bad might happen (hilarious because, y'know, Mickey Mouse, but I guess when you're two you don't quite understand that traditionally short kids' Disney cartoons are unlikely to end badly). And then Mummy and Tatie left and we had lunch, and then I went home too. Via, as it happens, Waitrose, where I bought a load of fruit to make crumble (gooseberries, raspberries, nectarines, apples and pears - yum) and milk and cheese so I could embrace the ongoing wonder that is tuna lentil spectacular.

In other news:

♥ I have painted my nails with my very favourite Christian Dior nail varnish. Except someone, pray, explain to me why I insist on doing this right before I go to bed?

♥ I finally got round to posting The Lost Expedition to Wraithbait.

♥ I failed to finish my next village!verse fic, because I apparently can't get past the second section - boo!

♥ We watched two more episodes of Chuck.

♥ I received and read #25 and #26 of Buffy Season 8. #27 comes out on Wednesday, so woo. Have also ordered Madame Xanadu vol 1 and Ex Machina vol 3. And at some point I need to read Powers vols 9 and 10, because I've had them for ages. Also, I am totally behind with Fables since the Great Fables Crossover, so I might just wait for the trade(s). And Katie gave me the single issues of vol 2 of Umbrella Academy to read, which I keep forgetting.


♥ I am currently reading This Little Britain (How One Small Country Built the Modern World) by Harry Bingham, which actually has a giant sticker graphic on the front with the Mail on Sunday singing its praises that, had I noticed it, would probably have made me not buy the book. And it's an odd read. I don't know if it's fundamentally an English thing, to be so reluctant to concede one's successes and yet simultaneously TOTALLY CONVINCED THAT IT'S ALL TRUE AND ONE IS TOTALLY ROCKING AWESOME, but that's sort of my reaction to the book. In parts it does feel like some Telegraph or Mail editorial about how everyone always moans about Britain being shit when SECRETLY OMG WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE GOOD STUFF IN THE WORLD LIEK WOAH and makes no bones about being anything other than a history/miscellany of 'British exceptionalism', but in other parts it's more self-deprecating and aware of our shortcomings as a nation. Anyway, I was reading it till half-midnight last night, so I must be enjoying it a bit.

♥ I have also started the first book in my LJ Smith omnibus, which I bought in the Waterstones 3-for-2 with the above (and a Stella Gibbons book I hadn't read, which, come to think of it, makes it sounds like I've read loads of hers and not, as the case happens to be, just Cold Comfort Farm (so awesome)). I blame this ENTIRELY on [ profile] ungratefulwench - not that she's ever actually recommended them or anything, but because she's had fanlistings etc since forever, and my curiosity finally grew to a head.

♥ I should go to bed now. I am sleepy.
chaletian: (narnia once a queen)
Oh em gee, darlings, how long has it been since I updated properly? An age, is how long. I've had so much stuff to LJ about I've forgotten most of it. I wish I could say that it means you only get the wheat and not the chaff but, to be brutally honest, I mostly tend to remember the chaff.

Anyway. Moving on. I went to the beach a couple of weekends ago with [ profile] katie__pillar, [ profile] weird_bird and the rest of the King clan on our annual West Sussex coast pilgrimage. Ah, the beach. The beach. There are no words sufficient in the English language to fully describe the beach experience. So Katie made a video of me at the beach:

In other news, we went to see Harry Po at the kino, which was highly enjoyable, though mostly, I have to admit, for the lolz. There was atmosphere of high hilarity in the cinema. Loved some of the design though: Draco in his shirt sleeves and those birds in the cages - ace.

Last weekend, I went with Katie and [ profile] klo_the_hobbit to the Ben & Jerry's Sundae on the Common, WHICH WAS EXACTLY LIKE HEAVEN WOULD BE (if I believed in heaven). We had lovely weather, and there were bands and free ice cream and grass, and it was all perfectly lovely. I re-read Fray over the course of the afternoon and I now want there to be more Fray. I also want to read some kind of Buffy -> Fray -> Firefly mélange, because I think that would be awesome. On Sunday, Katie and I were domestic. Well, Katie was domestic. I mostly napped.

Um, what else? Last night, Emma and Ben (though not Bob, because she foolishly forgot and double-booked herself) came for dinner, and we were joined by Katie and Chloe, who were breaking from their epic Thames Path walk in Barnes. Ate grilled halloumi and watermelon salad, butternut squash risotto and garlic bread, and chocolate cheesecake, which was all quite nice, and watched the pilot of Glee (joyous). Emma forgot to get her home-brewed wine out of the fridge (her description: "rancid"), for which relief much thanks. We drank white grenache instead, which was much nicer. I had two glasses. Go me. There was a reason for this untoward drinking on my part, viz HIDEOUS HORRENDOUS DAY AT WORK CAUSED BY SHENANIGANS I CANNOT GO INTO PUBLICALLY but which has now mostly been resolved. Go me for being a tiny bit assertive.

Also, I bring happy news. One of the fake hookers who killed the midget wrestlers has been arrested. Still worried that there's another one on the loose, though...
chaletian: (buffy british summer)
I am tired and achey and sadfaces and couldn't make any decisions and Katie made me tuna mayonnaise for tea because SHE JUST KNEW it was what I wanted and we have no food except lentils and tomato ketchup and flour and cheese and I did a whole lolarious post about my hols but left it at work and I am just basically made of EPIC FAIL.

But just to whet your appetites, I present:

Highlights of Joyous Hols in the White Car of Peril

+ Helen taking three hours to put on gladiator sandals
+ Nellie (aka [ profile] pim2005) doing all the washing up
+ Learning about The Burgess Way
+ Drinking beakers full of the frozen north
+ Drinking wine
+ Drinking gin
+ Dropping mentos into beakers full of the frozen north
+ Helen getting cross because we didn't do things The Burgess Way
+ Katherine and Nellie being adventurous
+ Katherine and Nellie going swimming
+ Katherine and Nellie walking to the river
+ Helen and me eating chocolate
+ Nellie doing more washing up
+ Food
+ Helen cutting my hair \o/
+ Deciding to live at Burrow Mump with an Orphan and a Boy From The Village To Carry Things

In other news, Leverage is back soon (wheeeeeeee!!), and I'm trying to write more Star Trek fic (as well as, natch, The Orphan on the Mump, which will become a seminal piece of children's literature and make me famous, all about Venetia Burgess, who is abandoned by her feckless mother and has to live with her Aunt L on the Mump and have all sorts of country adventures).
chaletian: (buffy british summer)
Well. I've had a shower. That's one thing I can tick of my OMG Epic Saturday To Do List. As for the rest, I have to go to Paddington to (hopefully) get the train tickets, pop in to work because I forgot Richard was having his Bupa meeting next week, and he only had a hard copy of the stats I did, and has probably lost them by now, so I mun email them to Emma. Then I have to, um, pack. And clear out the kitchen. And put more laundry on if I want any clothes on holiday. And buy some toothpaste. And transfer desirable TV to the tiny tiny shiny laptop. And charge every electrical device I own. And probably loads of other things I will forget until the last minute. Goddamn holidays.

But for now, I'm sitting here in my towel, eating a healthy breakfast of Oreos, and contemplating my outsider POV fic I've been not-writing for the past month. Heigh ho.
chaletian: (dls you)
What's up, peeps? Hope everyone's had a good weekend (even [ profile] ungratefulwench, labouring away *g*) - I didn't get as much done today as I hoped, but I haven't been too unproductive, so yay. Am just sitting down after a second foray to Sainsbury's and watching Kingdom (oh, Sir Stephen...), and thought I would do my rec post, as promised.

(Incidentally, I did some more WFG on Wikiquote, and discovered half yesterday's work gone, because there's a two-quote limit for half-hour episodes - pah, I say!)

Anyway. Yes. Recs.

One Life to Ascend To [SGA, Gen -> Slash] by [ profile] rageprufrock
I'm sure most people who would be interested in this have read it already, but it's a hilarious look at the Ancients being mentalists and awesome Atlantis dailylife!fic. I could happily recommend any of [ profile] rageprufrock's SGA fics. (There are sequels to this one - listed on her stories page - also beautifully funny.)
By late afternoon, there's an unofficial channel guide posted to the Atlantis BBS, and anybody with an ATA gene is stalked and harassed until they find another Ancient television to turn on--most of the programs are incomprehensible enough that the only true couch potatoes are the anthropologists. But the universality of bad soap operas makes One Life to Ascend To an instant hit, and at midnight, when John checks his email for the last time before crashing out, he finds that somebody's sent out a request for an episode summary. John rolls his eyes and goes to bed.

Lust Over Pendle [Harry Potter, Draco/Neville] by AJ Hall
This is probably one of the oldest recs I could make - I've loved this story for years. After the War, Draco tries to keep Malfoy Manor and his relationship going once he and Neville are outed in the Daily Prophet. Golden age detective novel-esque, beautifully written, hilarious, and, best of all, well be-sequeled.
"Well, I suppose I could try to get a job. Can't say what I'm actually qualified for, though. I mean, all the guidance I can ever remember on the subject assumed 'Heir Apparent to the Dark Lord's Number Two' was my only viable career option, really. Perhaps I should set up as a consultant, pointing out the great glaring clangers in would-be Evil Overlords' cunning plans. Soul destroying work, but someone's got to do it."

Skuka, Holod i Granit [Babylon 5, Ivanova/Marcus(ish)] by not jenny
My favourite ever B5 fic - the style perfectly complements Ivanova's character and the language is the perfect reflection of her attitude to life. Amazing writing.
Later, sitting together in her quarters, they do not speak. She is drinking vodka, straight and cold and deadly. He is watching her and sticks to water. When his arm slips around her, she doesn't think to shrug it off; she is not drunk, not yet, so it is not the alcohol dictating her behaviour. They do not talk; it has been a long year, and there is no end in sight.
She is thinking about Tolstoy. About the Psi-Corps. About anything but the feel of him, next to her.
("This will all end badly," she reminds herself, "everything does. 'And again hope and despair, alternately chafing the old sores, lacerated the wounds of her tortured and violently fluttering heart.' Oh, yes, this will all end very badly.")

Ten Nonlinear Moves [NCIS, Gen] by [ profile] sequiturfic
I know I did an immediate excitement-fuelled rec of this when I read it, and I also recced it on [ profile] crack_van, but hey, I'm sure there are still a few people who haven't read it... In the hiatus when Gibbs is off building hot tubs, Tony has to take charge of the team. Beautifully written and structured, and very well characterised, whilst being vee funny, as the only the best NCIS team fic can be.
The motto is not always WWGD. WWGD is brought out at half-time when the center just sprained his ankle and the other team has that one guy who has to be at least seven feet tall. Most of the time, Tony gets by on various second-string techniques.

Green Ice [LPW/Jeeves & Wooster, Gen] by [ profile] adina_atl
One of the most intriguing crossovers I've ever read, this tells the story of Lord Peter Wimsey's first ever case (the Attenbury emeralds), which happens to require a visit to Market Snodsbury. Brilliantly written, and the most fascinating characterisation ever of Bertie Wooster. I recommend this unreservedly.
The second bird was not overly tall, with hair the colour of corn silk, arrayed in the outer crust of a gentleman in a style Jeeves could not but approve. It was the monocle screwed into his left eye that fired the old brain cells, however. "Flim! Flim Wimsey! I say, it's been a few years, what?"

life, the universe and everything [SGA, Sheppard/McKay]
Parallel universe where John is Joanne and she and Rodney have a child... who finds her way to our universe.
Here’s the thing, the diary begins, a familiar spidery scrawl that spans several hundred pages, I never meant to get Sheppard pregnant.

The Subway [Narnia, Gen] by DJ Caligula
A story about Susan, post series. It's odd and a little freaky and very, very satisfying.
Susan gaped - and although her skin crawled in horror - her mind did indeed flicker back on the games that she and her siblings used to play, a long time ago. Games with kings, and queens, and centaurs and mermaids and fauns and cruel Eastern princes. God-like lions and villainous giants; unspeakably ancient cities, harsh deserts, icy northern peaks. Susan used to make maps, because she was clever at things like that, and with colored pencils and paper, she was able to create whole worlds, where forests were marked carefully with green, oceans had beasties springing out the depths, and southern cities had minarets and gates straight out of National Geographic. It had been jolly good fun, for a while, and it had helped pass the time, after they had been relocated to the countryside while London was being bombed by the Nazis.
chaletian: (bard r&j fuck it)
♥ Meh. It's one of those Saturdays when I've hardly done anything at all. Well. That's not quite true. I made scrambled eggs for me, Katie and Helen. I've watched one and a half series of Waiting For God and started a Wikiquote page for the same, so that's productive, y/y?

♥ In other news, I have done a load of laundry, put it out to dry, and put another load going. I finished Dear Enemy and have embarked upon When Patty Went to College (because Jean Webster rocks). I have done a bit of washing up, and plan to do more anon. I have also started half-heartedly putting away some clothes and tidying my room a bit (giant tip, as per), but am clearly currently procrastinating from that.

♥ I have a lovely fic idea where Jed Bartlet is the President of the Federation, and had some lovely lines etc on my way home last night, but it's all fallen out of my head now, so maybe I'll be radical and take a little walk tomorrow and hope it comes back, because I think that could be a beautiful, beautiful fic.

♥ I also plan to do another rec post tomorrow, so look out for that!

♥ Also: shit! I have a Father's Day plan to carry out which I had temporarily forgotten. Well, there's still time.

Anyhow, I should get on with my tragic domesticity. Boo. Why is our flat not self-cleaning and, more to the point, self-tidying? Why, when I click my fingers, do my clothes not automatically dance into my wardrobe? Fuck you, world, for taunting me with these possibilities in my susceptible youth...
chaletian: (blackadder bored queenie)
Jizzy Chrizzy, I'm writing Part Two of my Star Trek high school AU (really, I just like having the opportunity to type those delightful words) and it's like getting blood from a stone. I know what I want to write, it's just taking so long!! Thought I would take a little break and do a random fly-by post.

So, what's up with the Squeen? you ask. Meh. Not much. I'm still in my pyjamas, but I just had some cocopops, so yum. Also, am planning spag bol for dinner. Today I was also planning to be domestic, and since [ profile] katie__pillar and [ profile] klo_the_hobbit have gone off to Kingston, I have the opportunity to tidy up etc, but, um, no. I'm just sitting around writing fic and listening to Kid Beyond's I Shall Be Free (OMG I love that song) over and over again.

Yesterday, I eventually got dressed and went over to Lee to see the Brownies' exhibition, which was vee nice - good to see my chums but also to have the Brownies take me round it, because Brownies are never not hilarious. Had an OMG THIS IS HOW YOU CAN TELL THE WORLD HATES ME GIANT TRAUMA over some potatoes in Sainsbury's (over £2 for about three potatoes WTF WTF?). [ profile] xanantha and I had a good deal of squee over going to see Arcadia in a fortnight (ARCADIA! ARCADIA FTW!), I fought [ profile] pim2005 over a balloon (again) and had a disproportionate number of leg battles with [ profile] katherinea. Also made a tiny social faux pas. I also redesigned my LJ - woo. Quite pleased with the end result. LOOK AT MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR etc etc, though hopefully will not become pair of legs in lonely desert.

Ho hum. Should get back to my fic. I am on the final stretch, and I am determined to finish it today. STAR TREK HIGH SCHOOL AU FTW!!

ETA: Oh yes, I meant to link to this from Jezebel: This is your life RomCom style. It would be funnier if it weren't depressingly true. I love being a woman but it is weird sometimes.
chaletian: (dls you)
So, I have decided to assuage my tragic existence by reccing some more fic. Multi-fandom, this time.

Famous Last Words [SGA, Sheppard/McKay] by [ profile] thegrrrl2002
Sheppard can't work out why everyone's telling him DADT has been repealed... DADT is el giant theme in SGA (mainly, natch, because if anyone actually found out about Sheppard and McKay's THEIRLOVEISSOTRUE romance, Sheppard would get kicked out of the Air Force), and this is hilarious because Sheppard's all WTF? over how happy everyone is for him.
Rodney. Him and Rodney--doing things. Together. That's what Elizabeth, Cadman and Teyla had been thinking and it didn't make any sense at all. They obviously suffered from over-active imagination, because he and Rodney were friends, that was all. Friends who watched movies together, played chess, went whale-watching, okay sure, ate dinner together most of the time--none of it was unusual. Just typical stuff that friends do together.

The Hard Prayer [SGA, Sheppard/McKay] by [ profile] rheanna27
I'm fairly sure this has been recced all over the shop, but whatevs, it's awesome. Post-apocalyptic earth, in which John and Rodney seem to the only two survivors. They're both fucked up, and life is weird, and this fic is beautiful. Plus, who doesn't enjoy a post-apocalyptic road trip fic? No-one, that's who.
John drinks the last of his coffee and watches McKay finish packing. John doesn't believe there's anything left at NORAD or Colorado Springs -- he doesn't believe there's anything left anywhere -- but he can see McKay does. Maybe that means McKay's not as sound of mind as he first appeared, but John is uncomfortably aware that he's skirting the borders of normal himself. McKay, at least, has managed to hang on to two things John lost a while ago: hope and a sense of purpose. Being around him makes John feel like a drowning man offered a glimpse of land; even if it's a mirage, the sight of it might be enough to keep him swimming.

we could be heroes [Supernatural, Gen] by [ profile] missyjack
How mythic heroes are created. I love the fragmented structure of this, it really suits the nature of the story. Beautifully written.
Dean and Sam Winchester traveled the highways of America in a black Chevy Impala that had submachine guns mounted on the hood, and a water cannon that sprayed holy water on the roof. It could reach speeds of 300 miles an hour and travel from San Diego to Baltimore on a single tank of gas.

One Shot [Supernatural, Gen] by InsaneTrollLogic
This is one of my all-time favourite SPN fics. A woman buys a haunted Impala. So, so, so much love for this fic. SO MUCH I CANNOT EXPRESS IT. ♥
There’s about half a second of complete silence before the radio squawks on suddenly and Black Sabbath’s blaring out of the speakers. There’s an odd sort of static under the music. Your head snaps around to investigate, but your gaze snags on a figure in the passenger’s seat. Tallish, shaggy brown hair, he’s not transparent, but he’s flickering. He cocks an eyebrow at the radio. “You know, there’s EVP on that.”

Snogging Rose Weasley [Harry Potter, Rose/Scorpius] by [ profile] drcjsnider
Yes, yes, yes, JKR's epilogue to Deathly Hallows was like a particularly bad bit of fanfic and, yes, fic writers seem to mostly use Rose/Scorpius to rehash Draco/Ginny and Draco/Hermione (and pretend that Draco wasn't such a wet blanket as he ended up in canon compared the dashing darling of fanon), but I really like how this writer characterised her leads.
“She’s been planning on dating whoever was Head Boy ever since Fifth Year,” Lily told him. "You just happen to be the bloke who is going to get the position."

The Holes in the Ground [SGA/Doctor Who, Gen] by [ profile] mercurial_wit
Rodney meets various incarnations of the Doctor, and time is bendy. I don't read much Doctor Who fic, but I really, really love this, and not just because of the crossover.
"Weeell," the Doctor says, looking shifty, and runs a hand through his hair. "Spacetime is a bit more durable than people give it credit for. More like rubber than tissue paper. Bendy," he finishes lamely.
Rodney thinks this sounds like a whole lot of elusive nonsense, and he should know, but he contents himself with scowling and echoing, "Bendy," in tones that are as flat as he can manage.

The Absolutely, Positively True (Sort Of) Fictional Adventures of Hot Pilots in Love [BSG, Kara/Lee] by [ profile] widget285
I JUST SPENT OVER HALF AN HOUR SCOURING THE INTERNET FOR THIS FIC. THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. Starbuck and Apollo discover that someone in the fleet's been writing RPF about their UST. Absolutely beautifully hilarious.
Her heart beating loudly in her chest, Mara turned to find herself face to face with him: Captain Vee “Adonis” Dodonna, her CAG and best friend and the object of her most romantic fantasies. Mara was in love with Vee, but it was a hopeless, doomed passion. Not only did the regulations forbid it, but there was a deep, dark and painful history between them of which they never spoke, but which kept them apart.

For the Most Part [The West Wing, Josh/Donna] by Jen
This is a lovely, lovely look at a couple whose marriage isn't perfect, but then, neither are they. I really, really like this.
Fighting is different than it used to be. Now it’s quieter and after the kids go to bed. But that means that things fester and build up and by the time they discuss something, it’s gone from nothing major to something that ends with them on opposite sides of the bed trying to fall asleep without hearing the other one say ‘I love you.’ He hates that; hates it more than anything. It’s the worst downside to parenthood he’s found.

There will be more. I'm on a roll.
chaletian: (star trek doomed)
So many recs, so little time... Well, not really that many recs. Also, I am mostly about the happy-happy-Enterprise-family-gen, so most things I'm going to rec are likely to have been done before, but hey, that's the good stuff for you. Anyway, to the fic!

Luxury by [ profile] igrockspock
This just popped up on my flist and IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I WAS ALMOST (ALMOST) SPEECHLESS. It has a Kirk who has been playing round till now, but actually being captain makes it real, and he has to step up. SO TRUE. SO AWESOME. I LOVE JIM SO MUCH.
Under "crew-related tasks," he begins typing a note to see who could make use of these quarters, but he stops half-way through. Somehow he senses that giving up these rooms is a violation of protocol, something he actually has to care about now. He can't bunk down with the ensigns and yeomen and second lieutenants, however much he might want to.

Delta Delta Vega by [ profile] zarathuse
Jim sets up a fraternity at the Academy. Of course he does. Bones POV, which just makes it all the more delicious.
Bones isn’t entirely sure what “sweetass” means, but he’s pretty sure those sandals don’t qualify. He’s busy trying to think of the best way to trick Jim into going to the med clinic so Bones can scan him for Enolian brain fever when they’re suddenly interrupted by angry shouts from across the quad.
“Shit,” Jim says, squinting at the approaching figure over the rim of his sunglasses. “It’s Komack! He’s been on my ass ever since he caught me drinking a beer in the library this morning. Cover for me!”
And with that, he takes off, dodging and weaving across the lawn like he and his ridiculous pink shirt are somehow going to blend into the brilliantly green grass.

The Proper Treatment of Sexorexia by [ profile] igrockspock
[ profile] igrockspock writes Gaila like no-one else, and this is just adorable. Uhura hasn't had sex yet. Gaila's worried about her, but her attempts to help don't seem to go down well. Funny, and sweet, and a tiny bit sad. But mostly lovely.
After the sexual harassment seminar, Gaila feels even more out of place. People here just don't get her. Harassment means offering yourself more than once to people who don't want you, and she never does that. She has some pride, thank you very much, and anyway, enough people want her that she doesn't need to beg people who said no. It's not like she kept offering to go down on Nyota after that one time she screamed and ran away.

Only the Good Die Young by [ profile] _seven_crows
Chekov hates being the youngest. And Spock gives him The Talk...
Pavel points a shaky finger at him. "That! That right there is what I have to put up with all the time!" He turns to Hikaru, whose eyes are still watering. "Everyone assumes that because I am young I am inexperienced. That anyone can hug me or tell me uncomfortably personal things or ruffle my hair and is all right because I am tiny. Well, I am not that tiny!"

Cut and Fucking Paste by [ profile] crimsonclad
Hilarious, hilarious post Prime!Spock mindmeld fic. (The sequel, Edit, is just as, if not more so, awesome.)
It all gets fucked up on the tentacle planet, when Jim gets knocked unconscious and Spock has to read his mind to find out where the vine repellents can be located. They get through the mission just fine (as long as strangled-yet-again-but-at-least-it-was-a-plant-instead-of-his-bff-this-time counts as just fine), but back on the ship, Spock corners him in his quarters.

(beep), or, A Lifetime of Problems Told Through Winona Kirk's Answering Machine by [ profile] vivid_butterfly
Oh, Jim. You tiny fucked-up kid.
Stardate 2244: "Sweetheart? It’s your mother. I heard about what happened with little Jimmy. This is because you’re never around you need to quit your job and-/Are you sure you want to delete this message?/ (beep)"

Notes on Captaining a Starship by [ profile] calapine
Jim is determined to get to know his new ship. And, in the meantime, his crew as well. It's sort of fluffy and lovely and perfect.
Jim realised that wandering around the ship blindfolded probably wouldn’t instil much confidence in his crew regarding their CO so, in an effort to make sure he really did know his ship like back of his hand, he had taken to night-time strolls through her decks.

June 2016

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