Meme! Meme! Meme!

10 quotes from TV shows: show and character speaking, please!!


1. OK. I won the toss, so stickles are random and it’s a two-bounce ubique. Right, go, move. Run, run! Move, damn it, or I’ll towel-whip you! Guy Secretan in Green Wing, morganmuffle and r_scribbles

2. Red meat has been found to cause cancer in white rats. Maraschino cherries have been found to cause cancer in white rats. Cellular phones have been found to cause cancer in white rats. Has anyone examined the possibility that cancer might be hereditary in white rats? Margaret in The West Wing, bookwormsarah

3. Rudderless! Directionless! Cast adrift without compass on an ocean of ecclesiastical possibilities! Tossed by the winds, this way, that way!

4. Derek? Babylon 5's a big pile of shit. Tim in Spaced, davidbrider, bookwormsarah, morganmuffle and r_scribbles

5. Who doesn’t love Denzel? Angel in Angel, morganmuffle

6. Use your death grip, Spock! The death grip! Ando in Heroes, keladeekadys

7. Absolute belief in God's will means there's a reason for everything. Everything! And yet you can't help ask yourself how God can allow death and destruction. And then despise yourself for asking. But the truth is, if we knew God's will, we'd all be gods, wouldn't we? Baltar in Battlestar Galactica, r_scribbles

8. Smurfette is a stupid, shallow smurf who only had her looks. Look...you're better than Smurfette, you have your looks, and a whole lot more. Booth in Bones, b_liz

9. One thing I've always wondered about you, Graham. When you wake up in the morning, how do you tell? Lynda Day in Press Gang, davidbrider and r_scribbles

10. Your smile is like a crack in the gates of hell. One can smell the sulfur and hear the screams of the damned through your smiles. Tom in Waiting For God, morganmuffle

It's like I'm in a meme spiral of doooooom...

More TV shows:


1. Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now when it's worked so well? Sir Humphrey in Yes Minister, athersgeo

2. Intercepted communications between Doctor Chaotica and Arachnia. Stop. Chaotica at war with aliens from fifth dimension. Stop. Must strike now to disable death ray. Paris in Star Trek: Voyager, athersgeo and cyberpurple (more or less!)

3. Well, could you punch me in the face or something, 'cause to a casual observer this appears a little homoerotic for my comfort. Matt in Studio 60, nikkibeth76 and katie__pillar

4. It's all DNA these days. Like that CSI bollocks. CSI Cardiff, I'd like to see that. They'd be measuring the velocity of a kebab! Andy in Torchwood, cyberpurple and katie__pillar

5. If one of you has something, the other one always has to have it too. I had to buy two Balinese lutes, two decoupage kits, two pairs of lederhosen. When you finally moved out of the house that was one embarrassing garage sale. Martin Crane in Frasier, bookwormsarah

6. From the diary, quote, "I killed her. She's been killed. I'm a killer, an ace killer." That particular entry is not awash with ambiguity. Sam Tyler in Life on Mars, ladyguinevere83

7. Remember to cancel my aromatherapy, my psychotherapy, my reflexology, my osteopath, my homoeopath, my naturopath, my crystal reading, my shiatsu, my organic hairdresser, and see if I can be re-birthed next Thursday afternoon. Eddie in Absolutely Fabulous, davidbrider and r_scribbles

8. Yeah, MySpace. What the hell is that? Seriously, is that, like, some sort of porn site? Dean in Supernatural, katie__pillar

9. What, picking flowers? That's no job for a trained killer.

10. Oh, well, right now I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit, and, oh look, the guards are beating you up. Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, morganmuffle

Okay, so maybe another one...

1. Anger ruins joy. Steals the goodness of my mind. Forces my mouth to say terrible things. Overcoming anger brings peace of mind. Leads to a mind without regrets. If I overcome anger, I will be delightful and loved by everyone.

2. I’ve been home, showered, done my Chi, had a wank, subtly undermined my dad, put new clothes on and here I am, with my English coursework. Tony in Skins, katie__pillar and morganmuffle

3. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco. Ross in Friends, morganmuffle

4. Do you know what liver and onions go for on Reticula? Mulder in The X-Files, kathrynw

5. Yes, some sort of clever hat camouflage might be in order. George in Blackadder Goes Forth, r_scribbles

6. How many people can you think of named Gordon?

7. Bip bip bip!

8. This is just perfect. I try to mold us into a family that will blend in, and what do I get? A surly teenager, a sister obsessed with a man, and a brother who drinks too much. Is there another family in the whole world like this? I don't think so! Dick in Third Rock from the Sun, katie__pillar

9. I know that to some of you nurks in here, it's an alien pastime, but those of us endowed with a bit of grey matter where it matters, namely up here, preserve our identity and our sanity in this nick by thinking! Fletch in Porridge, morganmuffle

10. I died here in 1923. I'd like to say my husband caught me with the scullery maid, but actually it was the flu. How about you? Peggy in Hex, katie__pillar

Okay, last one, promise!!

1. Look, they got boy whores! Isn't that thoughtful? Kaylee in Firefly, r_scribbles and morganmuffle

2. The light of Shadmock's hollow moon doth shine
On to a point in space betwixt Dravidian Shores
And Linear 5930167.02, and strikes
The fullsome grove of Rexel 4; co-radiating
Crystal activate! An ac-tor in Doctor Who, gingerelanor

3. And this is Eric, the schoolboy who leads an exciting double life. Narrator in Bananaman, r_scribbles and morganmuffle

4. I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you’d be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times. Gareth in The Office, morganmuffle

5. Here's my concern. I've heard stories about how you're going to react to this and if see half of you running around, well I just know that I'm going to freak out. So if you could do your best to minimize that part of it, well I'd just really appreciate it.

6. I always hated that pus-head Hollister. He always resented my popularity. That's why he never put forward my proposal to reduce the minimum haircut length by an eighth of an inch. Small-minded, petty-thinking modo. Rimmer in Red Dwarf, r_scribbles and morganmuffle

7. Was that your jump shot? Because if that was your jump shot I can't date you anymore.

8. Spotted in Central Park. Two white flags waving.

9. As Residency Director, it is my pleasure to have both surgical and medical personnel here with us today. In fact, in this room, we have enough brainpower to light up a city! Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws. Dr Cox in Scrubs, katie__pillar, r_scribbles and euphrosyna

10. Five summers at Camp Pocequatic. Was also a pretty mean clogger. DiNozzo in NCIS, morganmuffle